I can't say life has been amazing since I left the blogosphere. I can't say I've done anything of note or've been so busy I couldn't have dropped a line. I just was done. For a while at least. Maybe because I always thought I'd never tell my friends I blogged, so when I did and we talked about what I wrote I realized I could never be completely honest. Or maybe, I just got busy at work. I think its a combination, but mostly the later.
In the past 9 months I have successfuly NOT gotten knocked up. I haven't won the lottery, traveled the world (ok, maybe for only 12 days), gone back to school, fell in love... I have no excuses. I guess I was just sick of it. And now that I've been MIA I guess this blog is for me. And if you came back after all these months to just check, it's for you too.
Currently my thoughts are scattered. I recently made my first treck across the great Atlantic, traveled an amazing country and am left in awe. I've come back to my life with only a few who know what I've experienced, and less who know what I'm processing. On top of that, the guy (yes #2) I've been doing this silly dance with for about 2yrs is on his month long vacation now. I miss him. Or I miss our sex. I can't determine what is really real or what is contrived. I'm sad we never really tried and could be loosing out on something major just because we were scared. After Lolla he's gone for 3yrs...Seattle. Its not gone-gone but there's no use. It's perpetually on my mind.
Friends I've made over the past month are creeping up into my thoughts every day. I remember everything we've shared and know I may not be the girl that have the quips but at least we had real conversations. I am 27 for God's sake. I was specifically unnerved by one guy, Denver. He had my number. Immediately. It was exciting, nerve racking, comfortable all at the same time. I purposely avoided him at times, times where drinking & dancing were involved. There was a palpatory vibe that was scary. And he had a girl friend. And he wasn't even my type. Job-less. Car-less. Living in Denver. I regret the times I pulled back just a little. I've reached out to him since but theres really nothing to reach out to is there?
I feel lucky though. I've had such good karma, so far undeserved. I have a great family I wish I was closer too. Same can go for my friends. Yet at the exact same time I feel lonely, confused, and old. I thought that at my age - 27 - life would be figured out...meaning fiance/husband, house, career. All I have is an apartment, friends I see every couple weeks, and a job. 3 more years I suppose to "get my act together". I am jealous and envious of those who have a passion in life while I'm still drowing in possibilities. I'm hopeful I'll figure it out...because as we all know when you turn 30 THIS is your life. 3 more years...
Friday, July 23, 2010
Why is it...
Why is it...
- the one night you decide to stay in there's a party in the courtyard
- you choose to drive behind the camry versus the kidnap van & they pull over for ice cream
- your mom questions why you're not married
- said mom suggests eharmony
- you think about the same person you spent 10days in Israel with...
- you think about the guy that's given you nothing for 2yrs
- you're 3/4 into a bottle of wine and its only 7:45
- you question why your friends are married, buying houses, planning babies & you're still living like you're 21
- that you feel so bad you can't pay off your credit card bill this month
- you feel friendless
- you're single
- you always feel better on Friday nights, worse on Sunday's
- you hate your best co-worker friend, when she's just moving on up
- you take pride & triumph in insignificant tasks
why is it....
- the one night you decide to stay in there's a party in the courtyard
- you choose to drive behind the camry versus the kidnap van & they pull over for ice cream
- your mom questions why you're not married
- said mom suggests eharmony
- you think about the same person you spent 10days in Israel with...
- you think about the guy that's given you nothing for 2yrs
- you're 3/4 into a bottle of wine and its only 7:45
- you question why your friends are married, buying houses, planning babies & you're still living like you're 21
- that you feel so bad you can't pay off your credit card bill this month
- you feel friendless
- you're single
- you always feel better on Friday nights, worse on Sunday's
- you hate your best co-worker friend, when she's just moving on up
- you take pride & triumph in insignificant tasks
why is it....
Thursday, October 22, 2009
AH IT'S FRANKENSTIEN! Oh, it's just you...
It's official. I am old. My body just can't hang like it did back in the college days. How would I know this, I tested the theory last weekend while attending GUR/Homecoming at my alma mater Illinois State University. And the results weren't pretty. Not for anyone.
HLo & I were all set for the GUR. We had done our research which included making 10stops to find a Bloomington IL bus schedule. It cost $.25. We had our outfits: neon & black knee high socks, black tights, bright pink short-shorts, SPM t's with a neon blue long sleeved shirt under, and our last minute addition: a bubble gum pink YOUTH poncho. Top that off with braided pigtails, a hot pink 80s headband, purple eye shadow and Team Super Party Mode was set.
We were able to bang out the first challenge immediately: Bingo Board where you had to complete 3 tasks (across or diagonally). "Shake" with a dog - Done. Propose to stranger - Done. Find stranger in scarf/gloves - Done. Then we headed to the bus stop. Next stop Bloomington.
The bus probably took the most time - IF we were really ambitious we could have physically run to Bloomington. But we're not that ambitious. Or as we later found out, not even that athletic. We completed a square dance at a bar, ran to a bead shop to string 2 feet of beads, fed each other cupcakes, found a misspelled word at the sport dome, heaved pumpkins and piggy backed. At this point things were going well. We weren't first but we weren't last - we were right in the middle with people. Then "THE FATAL ERROR" occurred. Party due to my idea of taking a short cut, partly due to the HAIL storm, and partly due to generalized stupidity.
After the piggy back, we only had 4 tasks left and were sticking pretty much to our planned course. Or so we thought. We trucked from the piggy back location to the next spot, completed a word problem. Then moved closer to the end where we had to complete origami. 2 more spots left! We were 1/2 way there, then it was realized. We forgot to get the temporary tattoo from the tattoo shop by the piggy back location. A good MILE away from where we were. There was nothing left to do but trek back out there. In the rain. With depleted spirits.
The error probably cost us an hour. We got the tattoos, waited for the storm to pass then plugged along to the far location to take pictures with our tattoos & Reggie, then completed a board walking task. THEN we had 1/2 mile back to the finish line.
2:55pm: Finish line. Our legs are jello. We starving and have a 2mile walk back to the car. We ended up finishing 79th. So depressing....
That evening we were very slow moving to say the least. But we pulled it together for a night out college style. Needless to say the night was fun, long, and ended with $40 in Steak 'n Shake and a diabolical game of catch phrase*
Saturday was a day of tailgating. We were up early enough and got ready. Then we laid down - a fatal error. After a nap or two and some food it was 1pm. Intentions were there, but HLo was incapacitated. Literally. She needed a wheel chair. She could not walk. She hobbled a little, walked like Frankenstein. I was still napping through my hangover and by the time we were ready to do something, it merely included delivered Chinese. HLo had to sleep on the downstairs couch because she couldn't make it up the stairs to the bedroom.
Top the weekend off with a $75 speeding ticket back to the city. It was worth it - we made such good time even with the inconvenience of being pulled over!
All in all, a great weekend. Disappointing results for the GUR - I wanted top 25 to qualify for New Orleans. But GUR was worth it. I recommend it and plan to try it again next year.
*If you had it on the buzzer, your team did a shot of whiskey. Let's just say that I wasn't on a winning team. My liver thanks me.
HLo & I were all set for the GUR. We had done our research which included making 10stops to find a Bloomington IL bus schedule. It cost $.25. We had our outfits: neon & black knee high socks, black tights, bright pink short-shorts, SPM t's with a neon blue long sleeved shirt under, and our last minute addition: a bubble gum pink YOUTH poncho. Top that off with braided pigtails, a hot pink 80s headband, purple eye shadow and Team Super Party Mode was set.
We were able to bang out the first challenge immediately: Bingo Board where you had to complete 3 tasks (across or diagonally). "Shake" with a dog - Done. Propose to stranger - Done. Find stranger in scarf/gloves - Done. Then we headed to the bus stop. Next stop Bloomington.
The bus probably took the most time - IF we were really ambitious we could have physically run to Bloomington. But we're not that ambitious. Or as we later found out, not even that athletic. We completed a square dance at a bar, ran to a bead shop to string 2 feet of beads, fed each other cupcakes, found a misspelled word at the sport dome, heaved pumpkins and piggy backed. At this point things were going well. We weren't first but we weren't last - we were right in the middle with people. Then "THE FATAL ERROR" occurred. Party due to my idea of taking a short cut, partly due to the HAIL storm, and partly due to generalized stupidity.
After the piggy back, we only had 4 tasks left and were sticking pretty much to our planned course. Or so we thought. We trucked from the piggy back location to the next spot, completed a word problem. Then moved closer to the end where we had to complete origami. 2 more spots left! We were 1/2 way there, then it was realized. We forgot to get the temporary tattoo from the tattoo shop by the piggy back location. A good MILE away from where we were. There was nothing left to do but trek back out there. In the rain. With depleted spirits.
The error probably cost us an hour. We got the tattoos, waited for the storm to pass then plugged along to the far location to take pictures with our tattoos & Reggie, then completed a board walking task. THEN we had 1/2 mile back to the finish line.
2:55pm: Finish line. Our legs are jello. We starving and have a 2mile walk back to the car. We ended up finishing 79th. So depressing....
That evening we were very slow moving to say the least. But we pulled it together for a night out college style. Needless to say the night was fun, long, and ended with $40 in Steak 'n Shake and a diabolical game of catch phrase*
Saturday was a day of tailgating. We were up early enough and got ready. Then we laid down - a fatal error. After a nap or two and some food it was 1pm. Intentions were there, but HLo was incapacitated. Literally. She needed a wheel chair. She could not walk. She hobbled a little, walked like Frankenstein. I was still napping through my hangover and by the time we were ready to do something, it merely included delivered Chinese. HLo had to sleep on the downstairs couch because she couldn't make it up the stairs to the bedroom.
Top the weekend off with a $75 speeding ticket back to the city. It was worth it - we made such good time even with the inconvenience of being pulled over!
All in all, a great weekend. Disappointing results for the GUR - I wanted top 25 to qualify for New Orleans. But GUR was worth it. I recommend it and plan to try it again next year.
*If you had it on the buzzer, your team did a shot of whiskey. Let's just say that I wasn't on a winning team. My liver thanks me.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
This Busy Bee Gets Drunk & Broke
Life has been busy. In the past two weeks I have been reunited with #2, participated in a birthday train pub crawl, got tanked with my dad at a Bears game, worked, and been a stellar bridesmaid.
All that in just two weeks.
I know. I can't believe it either.
And life is not slowing down. Tomorrow night I'm heading down to IlStu. Before the month is over I have a happy hour with former co-workers, a wedding, another reunion with #2, Halloween parties and yet another Bears game.
So much fun. And pretty expensive.
BUT being robbed was a good thing - my bills are down! Since I had to change all of my accounts and cancel cards I was living off cash thus no frilly purchases. My credit card bill is pretty awesome right now, just around $200. It will likely never be that low again...
All that in just two weeks.
I know. I can't believe it either.
And life is not slowing down. Tomorrow night I'm heading down to IlStu. Before the month is over I have a happy hour with former co-workers, a wedding, another reunion with #2, Halloween parties and yet another Bears game.
So much fun. And pretty expensive.
BUT being robbed was a good thing - my bills are down! Since I had to change all of my accounts and cancel cards I was living off cash thus no frilly purchases. My credit card bill is pretty awesome right now, just around $200. It will likely never be that low again...
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Overboard
#2 & I have a "date" set for tonight. Which I find out at 9am this morning. I really was hoping for Friday date so we could sleep in past 5:45am and do whateritisyoudo when you sleep in.
Due to our flurry of suggestive texts - both hinting that we needed to be somewhere close to a bed or really a place with a door we could shut for privacy (privacy see: kitchen, bathroom, closet) - I decided he should come over to my place tonight.
"Let's cook something at my place" I texted triumphantly. Right. Well after he agreed saying he'll call me after work, the light bulb finally clicked on: I have no food. I mean, I have some food but nothing to make and serve an actual guest.
I spent several "breaks" at work online looking for recipes with 5 or less ingredients (I ain't no chef) and could be thrown together within like 45min. But I didn't find one that fit my fancy. I figured I would just go to the grocery store over lunch, see what is out there and make a game time decision.
On my way out the door, I mentioned my lack of domesticity to a co-worker who recommended I keep it simple: steak & veggies. Then she pointed me in the direction of a local butcher shop which has great cuts of meat and some ready-made things. It would make me look like a good cook and really, who hates steak*?
My first visit to a butcher shop without my mom. I did it. And I did it a big. And with a lot of help from the friendly butcher behind the counter.
I mentally planned the meal within one walk through then sought the help behind the counter. I ended up walking out with the following:
- 2 NY strip steaks
- 4 stuffed mushrooms
- 2 twice baked potatoes
- 1/2# asparagus
- 2 stuffed chicken breasts** (1 Florentine, 1 regular stuffing)
All for the low, low cost of around $45. Then I realized I didn't have any wine in the house. I usually do, but with the burglary I been spending minimal time at the apartment thus not needing to shop for booze - I mean, groceries. I got 2 bottles of wine and cookies at the grocery store. Done & done. And I felt great. I planned a meal that I'm going to cook for a guest. And its all really great food. Or at least it has the potential to be a really great meal.
And then it hit me. This is like a fancy meal. Like a meal you have with someone you're serious with. Someone you're actually dating for real, not for sex. And now I'm freaking out. Because I don't want him to freak out when he comes over. Like I planned this for him and am going to profess my love or something. I mean, I'm not going to be lighting any candles. So now the purchasing high is gone and I'm stressing about what I'm going to tell #2 when he calls. I didn't even confer with him what he actually wanted to eat, or what time we're going to get together. I just went out and did.
Here are the options of how to explain my crazy grocery purchasing behavior:
1) Temporary insanity
2) Given to me from my mom last week
3) Drug to store earlier in week by co-worker, bought things that I thought I'd like
4) In the mood for steak, decided to pick some up
5) Deny, deny, deny & then suggest we order in or go out
I am actually leaning towards the second option. Or the third one.
Aside from all of that, I had no idea that we would be hanging out tonight. And although I'm showered, I am not necessarily um, ready, for his visit. Let's just say that I have a lot of maintenance to do when I get home tonight. I'm sure I'll be rushing around because as I look out my window now, I see the start to the projected 3day rain storm. The commute should be stellar. Great.
Plus I don't know what to wear. As we all know, this girl is not feeling her sexiest. Fattest, yes. Sexy, no. This burglary has been a huge thorn in my side. I was going to go to the flirty kitty to pick up a little diddy for #2's return. But since my life was so inconveniently interrupted, I am only living off cash. So being a lazy ATM whore did not yield well to my desire to actually parking and walking into the bank. Thus the FK got scratched.
Prior to the burglary I did seem to spend over $100 on new undies so I'm sure I can piece something together. I just have to remember #2's fondness for pig tails...
Yea, he's really creative.
*I actually know and am good friends with steak-haters. I just don't understand it is all.
**These are either for me to be frozen/cooked at a later date OR to give the option to #2 if he doesn't want steak. Which I wouldn't understand at all.
Due to our flurry of suggestive texts - both hinting that we needed to be somewhere close to a bed or really a place with a door we could shut for privacy (privacy see: kitchen, bathroom, closet) - I decided he should come over to my place tonight.
"Let's cook something at my place" I texted triumphantly. Right. Well after he agreed saying he'll call me after work, the light bulb finally clicked on: I have no food. I mean, I have some food but nothing to make and serve an actual guest.
I spent several "breaks" at work online looking for recipes with 5 or less ingredients (I ain't no chef) and could be thrown together within like 45min. But I didn't find one that fit my fancy. I figured I would just go to the grocery store over lunch, see what is out there and make a game time decision.
On my way out the door, I mentioned my lack of domesticity to a co-worker who recommended I keep it simple: steak & veggies. Then she pointed me in the direction of a local butcher shop which has great cuts of meat and some ready-made things. It would make me look like a good cook and really, who hates steak*?
My first visit to a butcher shop without my mom. I did it. And I did it a big. And with a lot of help from the friendly butcher behind the counter.
I mentally planned the meal within one walk through then sought the help behind the counter. I ended up walking out with the following:
- 2 NY strip steaks
- 4 stuffed mushrooms
- 2 twice baked potatoes
- 1/2# asparagus
- 2 stuffed chicken breasts** (1 Florentine, 1 regular stuffing)
All for the low, low cost of around $45. Then I realized I didn't have any wine in the house. I usually do, but with the burglary I been spending minimal time at the apartment thus not needing to shop for booze - I mean, groceries. I got 2 bottles of wine and cookies at the grocery store. Done & done. And I felt great. I planned a meal that I'm going to cook for a guest. And its all really great food. Or at least it has the potential to be a really great meal.
And then it hit me. This is like a fancy meal. Like a meal you have with someone you're serious with. Someone you're actually dating for real, not for sex. And now I'm freaking out. Because I don't want him to freak out when he comes over. Like I planned this for him and am going to profess my love or something. I mean, I'm not going to be lighting any candles. So now the purchasing high is gone and I'm stressing about what I'm going to tell #2 when he calls. I didn't even confer with him what he actually wanted to eat, or what time we're going to get together. I just went out and did.
Here are the options of how to explain my crazy grocery purchasing behavior:
1) Temporary insanity
2) Given to me from my mom last week
3) Drug to store earlier in week by co-worker, bought things that I thought I'd like
4) In the mood for steak, decided to pick some up
5) Deny, deny, deny & then suggest we order in or go out
I am actually leaning towards the second option. Or the third one.
Aside from all of that, I had no idea that we would be hanging out tonight. And although I'm showered, I am not necessarily um, ready, for his visit. Let's just say that I have a lot of maintenance to do when I get home tonight. I'm sure I'll be rushing around because as I look out my window now, I see the start to the projected 3day rain storm. The commute should be stellar. Great.
Plus I don't know what to wear. As we all know, this girl is not feeling her sexiest. Fattest, yes. Sexy, no. This burglary has been a huge thorn in my side. I was going to go to the flirty kitty to pick up a little diddy for #2's return. But since my life was so inconveniently interrupted, I am only living off cash. So being a lazy ATM whore did not yield well to my desire to actually parking and walking into the bank. Thus the FK got scratched.
Prior to the burglary I did seem to spend over $100 on new undies so I'm sure I can piece something together. I just have to remember #2's fondness for pig tails...
Yea, he's really creative.
*I actually know and am good friends with steak-haters. I just don't understand it is all.
**These are either for me to be frozen/cooked at a later date OR to give the option to #2 if he doesn't want steak. Which I wouldn't understand at all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
