ARGGGG

A pirate. Me. Not intentionally. But I finally realize this at 1 am while at the bar. Crap. Its been hours. I have on a white & black striped shirt, long black cartigan & a gold chain. I'm fucking Long John Silver. I'm never having sex again. After I realize this, I turn to L with a hand over my eye saying "ARG". After we bust out in laughter, she's in agreement but says "its not THAT bad". Yea right. Crap.

A peaceful evening in the 'burbs turns into another night of hilarity. Nothing TOO crazy but there are nicknames given & laughter at others ensues.

I'm in suburban hell. Yea, I'm not lying to you. The city I live in has turned into a divorce's paradise & we're just the a-holes to watch these cougars. Kill me now. NO, kill them & give their hides for boots! If it were only that simple.

We frequent an 80s bar. Granted, I know it is unlikely that we will be the oldest (thank the lucky stars!) but I never invisioned an invasion quite like this. The cougars are a-prowlin'. Good for them. I'm sure they've been through hell and back and have kids tugging at their tails but shit...leave me with this damn lephrecan next to me?!? Damn ladies. You know I might not have you're swagger but don't snatch up all the guys!

And we were left with the lepard. He was short. Balding. Awkward. Every 2 minutes he would turn to me & L, "What are you ladies drinking?" - yet he would not buy us a new drink. WTF. Eventually L called over two cuties to get the leprechan away. They were 22. Shit. And new to town. Double whammy. We told them the hot spots then exited. Our time here has passed. Til next time 'ville! See you then.