Holy Shittake Mushrooms

A voicemail. With attitude. At 7am. On Wednesday. From my mom.

"Hi Jen. Its your mom. Its 7am. Bye"

Shit.

This is a sign that the date went well on Tuesday. Perhaps a little too well considering I all but abandoned my goal and ended up in C's bed, albeit a comfortable one.

We hit it off right away. It was extremely comfortable, like we had known each other for ages. No awkward silences. It was a great start considering my last date - a blind date about a month ago - was a little intense and did not go so well. Let's just say blind dates are not my thing.

C was sexy in his business attire. He ordered a bottle of wine for us at the bar and another at dinner. We ate off each other's plates. Laughed a lot and got to know each other. Dinner ended around 9 but we were both so smitten that we didn't want to call it a night. So we headed to the bowling alley. In his car. And after about a 10min high school makeout session we actually went inside.

"Let's make this interesting. If I win, then I get to take you home with me" - says C

He won. It didn't help that I am terrible at bowling. And I think I played my worst game ever on Tuesday - highest score, 34. Seriously. He did question if I was throwing the game but alas I was not. I simply just suck. Plus he was getting strikes left & right so I had no chance of winning anyways. And I don't think I would have tried if I did have a chance...

He has a great apartment in the city. No roommates. It didn't take us long to make it to the bedroom. We had discussed that there would be no sex. But there were plenty of other things that were done. All very...satisfying. However, it was extremely difficult to stick to the no penitration rule. In the heat of several moments I prepositioned him and he wanted to wait. What a good guy, right? Plus he was so good with his hands that I suppose I can wait too.

I had to call in late for work. But it was well worth it. All in all it was awesome. The entire date, including my slut-tastic ending. I am absolutely head over heels for this guy right now. He has mad potential to be more than just a date, a fling, a fuck buddy. And I think I'm ready - or will be soon- for a new relationship. Its been over 7months since "the break" and I know what I want in a relationship now. I think I will be more apt to stay true to myself and not loose sight of my needs as I did with the ex.

Our next date: Monday. The Harlem Globetrotters are in town. It will be hilarious. And I'll be sure to pack a bag. And lie to my roommates so they won't be calling at 7am the next morning...

The Trolley Diaries

As promised, here is a brief rundown of Friday night - aka The Trolley Diaries.

The night started off promising. Pre-gaming at bday girls apartment equaled chugging beers and taking Jello Shots. When we walked in the party was already started and I have to admit I noticed C right away. He must have noticed me too (it wasn't hard, the party wasn't THAT big) and worked his way over to me. After about an hour the trolley came and it was GLORIOUS!

On the trolley C took the seat next to me although there were plenty of free ones. We continued our party of Miller Lite, Jello Shots & Birthday songs on the trolley to our first stop: Cans in Bucktown.

It is what it sounds like. You can get practically any type of canned beer - for only $3.50ish. Not too shabby for the Chi. I however am a snob and went for the vodka sodas. They did have the best lanturns however - Modelo cans! 45 min in the bar then I was the first back on the trolley to hit up that free beer.

Next Stop: Redmon's in Wrigleyville. This is considered - no, it IS - the Wisconsin bar. Wisconsin as in University of, in Madison. Shots shots shots. And a lot of potty breaks. There was a small incident - rewind 6mos ago ----

While hanging out with the same group we came to Redmon's. I met this guy who is a friends of one of the girls boyfriends. We hit it off - talking sports, life, careers, etc. The only problem, I was happy clown/sad clown that night. Not all my own doing. The ex's best bud called me and wanted to meet up. He was up the street at a bar that one of our - no, their - friends own. So he came. With the ex. It was so drama (read: my own drama, equals me being happy & sad in the same moment, equals to me hiding in the coat room with the attendant crying). The drama carried over to when they left too. And onto this poor bystander that I was chatting with.

Needless to say we had a drunk makeout session followed by me asking if he remembered my name (name this movie: "what's my name bitch") - which he didn't. Honestly, I don't think I remembered his but it ended with me blowing up and ignoring him the remainder of the evening. Then there was the full blown crazy exit - as I'm getting into the cab I screamed "Maybe you should remember my name next time". Classy. REAL classy.

Ok, back to Friday night - the above guy was there. I did my best to ignore him and was doing great until he got on the trolley with the group. He walked straight up to me, hand out for a hand shake and introduced himself. It was too much. My eyes met L's and we busted out laughing. The next morning I found out from the boyfriend of the girl that he was all set on walking up to me at the bar and saying something (snotty I'm assuming) but he went up to the wrong girl! Ha.

By the third bar Shooters everyone was hammered drunk. The group got split up and half of us were dealing with the birthday girl. I was one of those participants. She was smashed. Unable to stand without assistance. We did our best to salvage the situation - and avoid being kicked out - but the water was not working and even with 2 people holding her up on either side it was no use. She was going down. Every minute. Luckily a good friend of hers took her home after about 5minutes of this. We all stayed though...she's fine. DON'T JUDGE.

It was at this bar that C asked for my number. We discussed hanging out soon - like Saturday. However, on the walk back to a friend's after bar close I was stuck on the fact that C was chatting with another girl in the group too. A ginger - I mean, redhead. So in my drunken stupour I kept saying: "That damn Ginger" about every 5minutes anytime we discussed C & the possible date.

Luckily I was not too hung over the next day - yes I wasn't completely sober for the drive home, but who is the next day. Like I said I was a good girl - no puking (check), no fighting (check, check), no blackouts (check) and no drunk kissing! This is good. Its the first time in a while that I haven't been a drunk lush. I guess I'm getting out of that "I-need-attention" phase. I'm growing as a single girl and becoming confident again.

Saturday afternoon C called. He wanted to go out to dinner that night or anytime before Thursday since he'd be going home (Cincinati) for Easter. I declined dinner on Saturday - no need to rush into things, plus a little anticipation never hurt anyone - and suggested Tuesday. He's calling tonight to go over details and restaurant ideas he has. I think I am overly excited for this since it's the first date-date in a long time. Its not the "oh-crap-we-were-drunk-lushes-and-I-should-probably-hang-out-with-you-sober" type of date.

I'm growing people, I'm growing.

*Disclaimer: I am a huge fan of "The Princess Diaries" (1 &2), thus this is where the title of this post was inspired by. Yes I know I'm 25. But I always stop to watch it when its on tv. I can't help it. It could be worse - I could always stop to watch "Road House" - actually, I do. Whatever, I'm sure you have your own dirty little movie secrets!

Well Hello There

Clowns. Two. In red curly wigs. Faces painted. This was the view from my car while driving into the city last night after work with L. Due to that Chicago-style traffic we had the pleasant experience of "driving" along side them for about 2miles on the Ike. We were even able to snag 2 photos! The first was without their consent but by the 2nd they were posing! The cars behind us weren't too impressed however since they were laying on their horns while our vehicles stopped for the photo op.

And now, for your viewing pleasure

Last night was great. Trolley pub crawl = best idea ever. And I was a good drunk last night. No blackouts. No puking. No fights. I'll be blogging about it in another post but I will leave you with this tidbit...I have a date on Tuesday. Dinner. With C. And I did keep true to my goal thankyouverymuch.

Loss for Words

I got nothing. This week has been an emotional roller coaster with the whole job situation that I have nothing of interest to say. So instead of making a well-rounded post I will be posting my random thoughts of the day. Welcome to the inner thoughts of JD. Brace yourselves.

- Sausage. I feel like one. I have been eating myself into food comas most days for the past two weeks + no regularity at the gym. At least I'm only up 5lbs and not the 10lbs I was expecting when I stepped on the scale this morning. Plus, the weight tends to go to my boobs first. I suppose I should wear a low cut top tonight to take advantage

- Poop. Everyone does it. And it is to be expected that it will happen while you're at work. I mean, you're there more than you're at home. But please, please go to the last stall. I don't want to have to walk past your funk 2x's

- Hands. Wash them. I see you. I noticed. You're not washing them. Not with soap. And 5seconds under water doesn't count. I don't want your pee hand germs to transfer to me. Ugh, I guess I'll take that paper towel with me to the door...

- Party. Its the weekend. I survived a 5day work week. Tonight should be fun - trolley pub crawl downtown Chi. Coolers full of beer. Jello Shots. Pub specials. No lines. And no cabs. I'll drink to that...and pass me that strawberry jello shot to boot!

- Rent. Apartments. I'm looking online. Wicker Park & Bucktown area. Found several that are affordable and in the prime party - I mean safety location. I'll have to wait for L to go with me to walk/look around since she knows the area like the back of her hand. I also need to learn how to parallel park...

- Job. Still debating. But I think I'm pretty close to a decision. I will know more on Monday as to what CompanyA is going to do. It would be pretty awesome not to have to give up my every-other-Friday-off. Man, I'm a bastard. Debating between 2 jobs when so many are without. I suck

- Sun. 2 days of it then we're back to square one next week - snow. Will it ever end? Its April for fuck's sake

- Nails. I filed them. At work. I'm so productive

- Cookies. There is always something in the kitchen at work. Yesterday & today cookies. I think I've had about 7 today. 3 for breakfast and 4 sporadically - ok, every time I go in the kitchen/fax room. Shut it. I know I'm not helping the "sausage" situation

- Bachelorette Party. I'm on the planning committee. Have some really good ideas. Sent about 20questions to the bride-to-be to get an idea of what she wants. Jager & Patron shots may not be on her list

- Monday. That's when I'll stop eating crap & get my ass back in the gym. The week is shot anyways. Oh - you got some Swedish Fish? Hand them over. I think I feel my chin growing...

- Vacation. Would be nice to be on Spring Break. Those damn kids have it so easy. Bastards.

- Stop. Please. I don't want to hear about your beanie baby collection any more. Or your fucking guinea pig's surgery. For over 20minutes. I turned my back to you and began working over 10minutes ago. Did you not get the memo? Plus you're over 35 years old. This scares me. And don't crowd the cube. Its made for one

- Sex. Will I be having any soon? No, no. I told myself that I would be good. No #2, plus he hasn't called. But if he did...no. Anyone else? No one. Remember the goal: meeting a boy semi-sober and no sex until after a couple of dates. Fuck. I'm fucked. Wait, no I'm not...damn

- 3pm. Almost there. 1.5hrs left of work.

- Rock.Band. A new proud owner. Right here folks. My "roommates" will be pretty pleased with this. Ugh I have to wait about 15hrs before I can even play! Most likely by myself. I wonder if I should have friends come over to my parents' house tomorrow. Does that sound weird? Am I 12? Yes. Yes I am.


You're welcome.

Unwinding

"I need a cocktail. Let's be drink/food whores tonight"

This is the opening line to S - my best friend & long standing gym date every Wednesday. She agrees, perhaps begrudgingly since she's on a diet. But there is always a "free pass" card if one of us need it. I needed it. I cashed in.

All guilt fell by the way side when I walked up to S in the new sushi joint in town - she was already seated with a beautiful strawberry-basil mojito by her side...half gone.

"Let's order like we're not planning on going to the gym afterwards" says S

Ah, words that warm my heart. Just what I needed.

We continued our sushi party - 5 rolls ordered, including "fancy" rolls (read: expensive). A special treat since we had a gift card. Delicious.

Several mojitos later...dessert? Yes please. There are a few places in town that are famous. After running the list we make it downtown ('ville, not Chi) and order. A glass of wine later...or two...it comes. We kill it. Its part satisfaction, part guilt. But its only Wednesday, we have 4 days to make it up at the gym.

S is my go-to gal. She is someone I chat with all day during work via email then meet at the gym 2-3 times per week. Not to mention the shopping trips, movie dates, or nights out on the weekend. Today I needed her. She was there. No questions asked. And she knew what I needed. An ear and an opinion. An honest opinion.

I'm struggling with this 2wks notice...I was countered offered and it was good. Very good. A decision I thought was made has been shattered and I'm back at square one. Confused. With a headache. And needing a cocktail - or two - tonight especially in light of the notice and fender bender in the downpour last night - no injuries, a less than 5mph bumper kiss but annoying all the same.

The best thing about the evening was how much I felt she wanted to help. The things we discussed never began with you this, you that. it was always, "we". You may think that is strange but its not. S helps me through a lot. She was the one that held my hand, handed me Kleenex through the "break". But its more than that - our friendship expands more than 10 years. We played Sweet Valley High board games together, watched Shag, traveled together. She is able to help me help myself at times. As I hope I help her. It is a true friendship, a sisterhood.

I think this is what I needed. A drink. A person to vent to. A person that would give an opinion, not say "its your decision, you're an adult". I think we - I mean, I - made a decision. The stress is slowly dissipating. As is that terrible headache.