Knots

Ugh. I have that sinking, heavy feeling sitting right on my chest. And working its way towards the diaphragm. I am anxious. I am (hopefully) waiting for a call. From C. Who has been MIA since Friday. Scratch that - Sunday - that was the day of our last communication.

Rewind to last weekend:

Friday night was great. C actually cancelled friends with a friend (a GIRL) to make time to hang out with me. It was flattering and endearing. We actually did something that is becoming quite the staple in our relationship. We made cocktails, threw them into a rather large cup with the straw and headed to our spot near the lake. After a long lake front walk, we grabbed a bit to eat then headed back to his place for some uncomplicated romance. Conversation was good. We laughed a lot. Things were going just swimmingly. He even said at dinner that he would try to meet me to see The Counting Crows who were playing at the taste around 5. He thought he could get out of work by then and back into the city.

Saturday was a slow moving day. I had the cable guys come in the morning (YEA!) and spent most of the afternoon reading until HLo came in to accompany me to the taste. We quickly found our way to the concert area. And the bar. We had time to kill and spent that time (and money) drinking. I texted C a couple times to see if he could still meet up. He couldn't. My heart sank a little. As the drinking continued so did my texting. I have to say that I was a little relentless. I was eager to meet up. I wanted him to come out with us. As he had previously stated he would try. When he finally admitted he would be going out with "the boys" the phone went back into my purse. HLo & I ended up having a fabulous time. We met someone who claimed to be new to town (it could have been a ploy! And a damn good one, brought our shields down immediately), enjoyed the Crows then grabbed dinner at a Tapas restaurant in the heart of the loop. We even had sangria which may have prompted our next move into an old school club Excalibur. Honestly, the club is a little bit of a joke. No one would really go there unless they were under the influence or didn't care that they were still in day clothes from earlier. Like us. Well, like me.

Sunday was the ultra-fabulous Gay Pride Parade on the north side. The drinking started at 10am with Dani then we met up with L and her college friends to continue the party to the streets. The parade was FABULOUS! It was my first time going but there is a gianormous buzz in the straight community about what a great party it is. And it was. The drinking continued through out. We eventually ended up in a bar/restaurant for food around 3. And a round of shots. And cocktails. Once the orders were placed, I texted C. Something not so clever, or nice, more or less: you. me. sex. Very barbaric. BUT I had just finished my time of the month...

From what I can remember he was less than thrilled to meet up. The north side was still a mess with drunks (me being one of them). I balked at his response. How could he say no to all of this?!? And I think I was a little rude. Can't remember. And drunk-ass me deleted the texts immediately once it was settled.

Now, 4 days post-parade I still haven't heard from him. My first reaction on Monday was, whatever. Tuesday it was: I bet I was annoying this weekend with the drunken texts. By Wednesday: He must be a little pissed with me. Today: Something is a-miss.

In spite of myself I texted him around noon. It was simple and to the point: silent treatment or really busy working. I got my answer: both. Followed by "we can talk later".

GGGGggggrrrrreeeeaaaatttt......

Ugh, even rehashing this stuff makes my chest hurt. Bah.

My guess he is going to say that he likes me but not when I'm drunk OR drunk with a couple of friends. I'm betting on it. And he has the upper hand of course, because: 1) he has a pretty darn good memory, 2) its likely he kept whatever ammunition (the alleged texts!) to confront with me, and 3) I don't think he was drunk (at all).

I'm not looking forward to it. But I am hoping he calls to straighten whatever this is out.

I suppose I should get in the shower; its 4:20 and he will likely call around 5. Hopefully the shower will wash some of this dread away...