Really?

Beep.....Beep.......Beep

I have a text message waiting! My heart is racing with excitement that C had a moment between his jam packed week for work and moving that he thought of me!

Digging....digging through the drawer in my desk that holds my purse...through the pocket that holds my phone...new text messasge confirmed!

I flip open my phone and the excitement turns to worry...its the ex: "wrote you on facebook"

Really? REALLY? We haven't spoken in months - mostly due to the fact that I could not take his whinning about hanging out and taking him back any more. He broke up with me. And I'm sorry he regrets his decision, but I had moved on.

The last time we spoke I told him I was dating other people, which at that time was #2. And let's face it, it wasn't dating. It was fucking, but no need to break his heart. Needless to say the ex did not make any attempt at communication since he found out I was "dating" and honestly, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Although I still think/care about him, there is no need to keep a totally open line of communication or hang out. There is no point.

Login to Facebook. Inbox (1). I clicked on it:

"hey, have not talked to you in awhile. i hear you are moving soon. tell me about it?? new job as well?? i am hoping to move out june 1st with andy in the city, probably lincoln park area. little worried about living with him because of his money situation, so have to find something reasonably priced. i would love to catch up sometime though..."

Fuck. Really. Did this just really happen right when things were going so well. When I was moving to the city. Now we'll be even closer than we were living in the 'burbs.

The anxiety has increased. I have this looming over me now, on top of the big move this weekend. I have no clue what to write back. I don't want to see him. I don't want to fill him in. I was finally comfortable with all ties being severed....

Although they never are. His friends still text & email me every so often. The ex & I are still friends through Facebook, so of course he can see all the people writing on my wall about the move and stalk my going-ons. His mom just emailed me a month ago telling me about her trip to Vegas and his sister-in-law emails me with updates on her pregnancy. I have only severed ties with him, and as much as I hate the thought of it - of loosing 6 years of relationships - its time to sever them all. I just hope I'm strong enough to do it.