The Candy Man Can

Ah, the glorious melody from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory plays in my head. I love candy. I have developed a sweet tooth. And as explained in my previous post, I am trying to curb that devil tooth into craving broccoli versus anything covered in chocolate or in cookie form.

This week I have actually been good. I have been eating healthier (minus the handful of Swedish Fish) and had an amazing workout* at the gym last night. So today in celebration I decided I would treat myself to a single serving size of peanut M&Ms from the vending machine. I mean, I deserve it, right? I probably burned 700+ calories last night and I have been working my tail off this week - coming in early & taking time off my lunches.

The moment of anticipation mounted as I waited until after 10am to get my special treat. I pulled a crisp dollar bill from my wallet, hopped in the elevator and made my way to the vending machine. Only to find out that the price of my beloved was now 95cents - GASP! My reaction was mixed - was this His way of telling me to skip the treat? How could the vending machine people have the audacity to raise the cost - its like amusement type prices up in this bitch! But after all of my griping, my practical side did succumb to the devil tooth. I did have an entire dollar so I could afford it.

That didn't stop me from bitching about it to my co-workers. I told anyone that would listen. And when I finally got to Dani her response floored me:

"Yea, its due to the candy tax"

"Ex-squeeze me?!? First the smokers & now the fat people." I remarked in disbelief.

She - someone that actually pays attention to State affairs - knew about this bill that Governor Pat Quinn signed enacting a tax on candy effective September 1. Although I believed her, I still looked it up. Google produced 2.1 million articles on it - granted I bet only the first couple hundred are written about Illinois but still. That is a lot of mutha-fecking articles. Here, read for one for yourself. It is the most bizarre law - candy as actual food? WTF. I'll have to check the packaging on Skittles & Swedish Fish to see if they have any flour in it to avert this new tax. Or I could just stop eating candy altogether. I'll plan on the later but I doubt that will last.

Also you'll find that not only is the tax on candy, its on something much more important. Beer. Again, alcohol gets the brunt of the state-wide financial crisis. In addition to beer & candy: hair products. Totally random.

Illinois is not the only state in the Union that is having financial difficulties. We are in red. WAY in the red. There is no money for the public schools, transportation or service. No. Money. Period. Yet, the Mayor is more than content to get the Olympics in Chicago. Although this is a totally different topic of conversation/debate, I will put my two-cents in. Feel free to disagree, but I find it horrifying that in the midst of our financial crisis we are trying to obtain an extremely costly world event. An event, that unlike other countries up for the bid, the citizens will have to pay versus the government backing the costs. This cost will fall onto the shoulders of the native Chicagoans to pay through taxes. Ok, I've said my peace.

Anywho, what the Mayor should be doing is building a casino on the lake - tax the hell out of that, leave my beer & candy alone.


*I took a new class at the gym: Cardio Kickboxing. It was unlike any kickboxing class I had been in before. I can not wait to wear my heart rate monitor to see how many calories I actually burn!

Steady Incline

5:30am. Post pee. Pre shower. There it was, sitting in the corner of the bathroom. Black . Shiny. Staring me down. Tempting me to step on and see the results. The results of living, eating and boozing in Chicago for the past 4 months. I got up the courage, clicked it on with my toe and took the step.

One small step for men, a giant leap for women.

They say the scale doesn't lie. And, to my dismay, I'm pretty sure that the fancy do-dad one at my parents' house doesn't either. Needless to say, it wasn't what I wanted to see on an early Monday morning. The three numbers that glared at me in neon blue were not the three numbers I have become accustomed to. Nor were they any three numbers that I have seen together from the scale in...never. I am at my heaviest. My heaviest ever.

Although the number on the scale shocked me, I can't say that I'm really all that shocked that I've gained weight. I have noticed things getting "soft". My jeans, a little tighter. My swim suit bottoms, providing a little less coverage. My boobs, totally swollen and huge (perhaps there is a perk!). I just didn't realize HOW MUCH weight. We're looking at about 8lbs since I've moved. And I know why (don't we all?!?): I've slacked both with food & the gym. And I gave myself excuses to not feel bad for it. Well, at least excuses during the moment of consumption.

i live in denial. I know that eating cookies is not a good thing. But I tell myself that I can have one - or three* - because I never get the opportunity eat cookies. Or I'll go out to lunch and instead of getting a salad, I have to get my favorite dish - because I never get to go to [insert restaurant] so I have to get my favorite meal. Or I'll eat the fries - because (you guessed it), I never get to have the fries.

Sad face.

The truth of the matter is this: crap food surrounds me at work. And if by some chance it isn't around, I got into a bad habit of hitting up the vending machine. And since I don't buy sweets or chips for the apartment the cravings tend to be 10x worse when I'm out and about. Perhaps that fuels the "but I never" mentality.

Oh but there are others too, the "day is shot, so I might as well continue the gluten train" mentality, or the "I have plans (dinner/drinks) later so I might as well start now", or the "its the weekend" mentality.** Whatever fits my mood that day really.

In addition to all of that - she types as she waves her arms around in silent disgust - I have also convinced myself that I haven't had a chance to establish a good workout routine. Granted it took me 2 months to actually get a gym membership [insert moving excuse here]. Then, when I finally did, I worked out several days a week for 2weeks. Then I started to work out a couple of days every two weeks. And its gone down since then.

The most shocking thing of all is that when I finally make it to the gym, and its all said and done, I.LOVE.IT. I love it. I get energized and plan out the rest of my week around the gym.

But, I am very good at convincing myself to not make it to the gym. Its not my fault that I don't have a stable gym buddy [excuse]. And that I'm not used to my new gym's layout [excuse]. And that it rains [excuse]. Or its sunny [excuse]. Or that the commute makes me crabby [excuse]. Or that I don't have cute work out clothes [excuse]. And my gym shoes are old [excuse]. Or that I'm hungry, tired, want to watch TV [excuse, excuse, excuse].

Apparently, I've just been a whiny bitch about it for the past 4 months.

I've been trying - loosely - to turn it around. The plan now is to actually try. I'm usually a pretty fit and sensible eater. I need to get back to that. Fast.

Luckily the bridesmaid dress for the wedding this weekend still fits.

Unluckily I will be surrounded by delicious food and cocktails. Not to mention its a holiday weekend.

I think I'll start trying next Tuesday.

[EXCUSE]***



*Confession: The 3 cookies are more like 5 some days
**That one is a killer
***And probably one I'll stick to this week