Driving into work today I took Lake Shore Drive (which I never do, but should more often) and it was gorgeous! A peaceful clear morning on the lake with an exquisite view of the city while entering the Loop. The city was sparkling in the sunlight and the lake was clear and peaceful.
Moments later Chicago commute reared its ugly head and I was in bumper to bumper traffic. Which allowed my mind to wander, and today it wandered to the thought of delicious bagels. All I wanted was to show up to work and have an Asiago bagel from Panera sitting there waiting for me. The perfect Friday morning - and hangover cure. Low and behold, my wish was granted and there were bagels. Hallelujah. The begining to a great weekend...hopefully.
Right. Well, I had an offical date with #2 last night. We met up at a tapas restaurant in Lincoln Park. Drank sangria and ate like pigs. We fell into our old routine and it was fantastic. The conversation was good, there were some laughs and after dinner we headed to a bar for more cocktails. Obviously our routine is getting drunk together. And by this time we were at least buzzed if not completely drunk. And buzzed dating is drunk dating as we all know.
At the bar he leaned in to kiss me. I inadvertantly gave the cheek. Honestly I had no idea that he was going in for the kill. He immediately called me out on it and tried again. That time, he didn't miss. Kissing him was as good as I remembered - lush soft lips, cool wet tongue, a sweet mouth. I felt it in my toes. He tastes amazing. TMI? Maybe. We called it a night by 12am which left us in an interesting perdiciment - do we or don't we "share" a cab? Sharing a cab means sleepover. Sleepover means sex.
While stewing it over outside the bar I, in all of my smooth non-nerdy glory, blurted out that there would be no sex. This, I think, caught #2 by surprise. I followed it by saying - ever so gently (or notsomuch) - that I had made up my mind the moment he called that I would not sleep with him right away. That I was pissed on how he handled things in February. Mad that he never called back. Granted I did preference all that by saying I did act like a crazy bitch but still he should have called. For the most part he agreed or he at least acted like he did. If it was acting it was a good believable show. And I fell for it. We decided to "share" a cab and just sleep together. Literally, sleep.
Yes there was a make out session on the couch and in bed but there was no heavy petting. At all. Sleeping was actually sleeping. And spooning. I know the goal was to string him along, and I know I techinically brought him home to my bed however he only got a small taste of what he has been missing so I think the plan worked. Sort of. I have a good feeling that he will call back wanting seconds. I just have to decide if I want to offer it.
Do I or don't I? I am having a fantastic time with C. We are developing a great personal connection and coupled with passionate sex its a win-win. C is extremely hansome, well rounded, funny guy. He wins against #2 in almost all categories. But there is something about #2 that grabs my attention. Maybe with him there is some type of aloof quality - I have to chase him. But chasing him never works out. I end up chasing my own tail and acting a fool. I don't want to risk things with C either. But if kissing #2 was as good, if not better, than I remember then I know it won't be long until I'll crave having sex with him. Because if my memory serves me correctly, it was damn good.
What are the rules when it comes to dating? Do you tell your current date about your other dates? Do they have a right to know who you're sleeping with? I'm at a loss. I guess I'll just go with my instints and my instints right now says I want to go out with C tonight. So I will. And I'll take everything else as it comes.
*I have realized that lately all of my posts are about drinking and sex. To confirm: no I am not a sex addict, no I am not an alcholoic. But I will work on posting other life events in order to spice up my blog. Hopefully...
Friday, May 29, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Boomerang
There is always those few things that you have or had in your past that some how always may their way back to you. I'm talking anything from your old NKOTB sheet set to video games to even people and past relationships. This weekend, I had a boomerang person text himself back into my life. And at first, I had a "wholly hell" type of moment. Although the initial shock has subsided I am still just a little on edge about the entire situation.
A perfect Sunday afternoon - included lunch at a great Mexican place up the street followed by some bar hoping and the hawks game with C. After the game we walked our way back to my apartment, stopping to buy a couple bottles of wine. Unfortunately for C we passed a tiny carnival and I dragged him onto The Zipper and the Pharaoh's boat ride. Then he decided to cook me dinner at my place. In midst of my wine haze I reached for my phone to text S that "OMG, C IS COOKING FOR ME. HOW PERFECT" kind of message when I had a text waiting in my inbox. From #2.
Now, I knew deep down that this would happen yet it still caught me by surprise. His text was a simple "hey heard you moved into the city, how is it going" type of text. My reply was a not-so-simple or smooth "its great, sorry the hawks lost. we should grab dinner or something". This all happening while the almost perfect C is busy cooking me dinner. I then proceeded to text S several swear words about #2 then put the phone to rest and picked up that bottle of wine.
Dinner was great as was the rest of our evening. And it didn't take me long at all to forget about #2 while I was in the presence of C. Plus I never got a text back from #2 after my very eager response which helped matters immensely. I did however receive a text last night at 9pm - #2 has asked me out for dinner. I sat with that text for about an hour. Then I texted S. Then I texted #2 back saying something along the lines of that I'd let him know later this week since I'm SO busy (yea right). He responded almost immediately that he would call me tonight to make plans.
Yikes.
C & I are not exclusive, but I do respect the fact that we are sleeping together. And since I'm so new to this single lifestyle, for my own sake 1 guy in a bed at a time please. I have no qualms about going out for dinner with #2, my only apprehension is falling into the same spot I was before. I didn't make a good F* buddy - I always wanted a little bit more. Plus, I didn't like to know about all of the other girls he was seeing. So I don't want to ruin anything with C over someone so trivial. But I do want to flaunt. And I do want to make him buy me dinner. And I do want to leave him begging for more. Nothing wrong with a girl wanting to string along a guy for a bit - right?!?
So I've decided that if it can be worked out, I will go out to dinner with #2 this week. I have created a rule: no more than 2 drink (lame, i know), and since I'll be getting my little friend I don't have to worry about the s-e-x. At least not yet.
This, could be very fun. Very fun indeed.
**Not to mention the fact that it is slightly flatering-slash-creepy that his dad (aka MY BOSS) brought me up in conversation with #2 this weekend. Specifically informing him that I have moved downtown, and Lord knows, maybe he coaxed him into contacting me. Maybe not. But its just a little weird how badly my boss must really want me and his sone to date. And, it creeps me out that there is a possibility #2 has already informed him of our past randevous. Ick.
A perfect Sunday afternoon - included lunch at a great Mexican place up the street followed by some bar hoping and the hawks game with C. After the game we walked our way back to my apartment, stopping to buy a couple bottles of wine. Unfortunately for C we passed a tiny carnival and I dragged him onto The Zipper and the Pharaoh's boat ride. Then he decided to cook me dinner at my place. In midst of my wine haze I reached for my phone to text S that "OMG, C IS COOKING FOR ME. HOW PERFECT" kind of message when I had a text waiting in my inbox. From #2.
Now, I knew deep down that this would happen yet it still caught me by surprise. His text was a simple "hey heard you moved into the city, how is it going" type of text. My reply was a not-so-simple or smooth "its great, sorry the hawks lost. we should grab dinner or something". This all happening while the almost perfect C is busy cooking me dinner. I then proceeded to text S several swear words about #2 then put the phone to rest and picked up that bottle of wine.
Dinner was great as was the rest of our evening. And it didn't take me long at all to forget about #2 while I was in the presence of C. Plus I never got a text back from #2 after my very eager response which helped matters immensely. I did however receive a text last night at 9pm - #2 has asked me out for dinner. I sat with that text for about an hour. Then I texted S. Then I texted #2 back saying something along the lines of that I'd let him know later this week since I'm SO busy (yea right). He responded almost immediately that he would call me tonight to make plans.
Yikes.
C & I are not exclusive, but I do respect the fact that we are sleeping together. And since I'm so new to this single lifestyle, for my own sake 1 guy in a bed at a time please. I have no qualms about going out for dinner with #2, my only apprehension is falling into the same spot I was before. I didn't make a good F* buddy - I always wanted a little bit more. Plus, I didn't like to know about all of the other girls he was seeing. So I don't want to ruin anything with C over someone so trivial. But I do want to flaunt. And I do want to make him buy me dinner. And I do want to leave him begging for more. Nothing wrong with a girl wanting to string along a guy for a bit - right?!?
So I've decided that if it can be worked out, I will go out to dinner with #2 this week. I have created a rule: no more than 2 drink (lame, i know), and since I'll be getting my little friend I don't have to worry about the s-e-x. At least not yet.
This, could be very fun. Very fun indeed.
**Not to mention the fact that it is slightly flatering-slash-creepy that his dad (aka MY BOSS) brought me up in conversation with #2 this weekend. Specifically informing him that I have moved downtown, and Lord knows, maybe he coaxed him into contacting me. Maybe not. But its just a little weird how badly my boss must really want me and his sone to date. And, it creeps me out that there is a possibility #2 has already informed him of our past randevous. Ick.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
No Thank You
I thought I would leave for the weekend preparing you all for what you might encounter during the nice weather long weekend ahead. I hate them. The "man-dals". They are hideous. Not only are men's feet usually sickening, but now they have gone all fem-bot on us too. These guys should be punched in the nuts - or maybe that is my own obscure opinion. If its not burkes or flops (yea I'm getting used to those at least now) then you shouldn't be wearing them.
Below are my two favorite definitions taken from the online Urban Dictonary.
Mandals: *
sandals, particularly of the leather strappy european nature, worn by russian, gay, or fashionably misled men.
His mandals match his man purse.
Mandals: *
(noun)-man sandal-a men's summer shoe, that consists of black or brown leather that covers more than 50% of the foot, buckles and a thick sole.
On the way down to the shore, one of the buckles broke off of Serge's mandals and he had to use a rubber band to secure them.
Happy Man-dal hunting!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
FIBs
This week is really shaping up weather-wise. The projected forecast is for 80s and sun. I will take both with loving arms thankyouverymuch. Also the big Memorial Day weekend is in T minus 3days which is the official kick off to summer. Bags, BBQ, & Beer - what more could a girl ask for.
I have a feeling this summer will be an eye-opener for me. My old summer routine is in the dumps mostly because it was "our" routine. Me and the ex. We had our annual events all planned everything from concerts, camping music festivals, 4th of July trip, crashing friend's lake houses...and it was all a blast. My weekends were always filled with little trips and getaways and I loved it. And now, I will definitely miss it. For instance, this weekend I would be attending Summer Camp a 3day camping music fest which features bands which aren't necessarily main stream, they are more-or-less hippy stream. It hurts, just a bit.
But I have bigger and better things to look forward to. I just haven't figured them out quite yet. So far my plan is limited to 3 things: biking, kayaking the Chicago River (at least once), and crashing lake house parties.
For those of you who don't know, a FIB is a kind name that was bestowed upon us from our neighbors to the North (thank you Meth-consin) and to the North-East (Michigan). A FIB is a Fucking Illinois Bastard. This term is mostly directed towards the Chicagoans and those who live in the Chicago-land-area. The reason, simple: We attack in the summer. Their side of the lake is cleaner, not to mention they have other lakes nestled in everywhere. And its only 1-3hrs to get there. So we invaded. Buying houses to store our boats, ski-dos and other fun things in order to get our party on. And we're called bastards? Way to forget that we bring the revenue to the towns every summer. And you're welcome...you jealous assholes - I mean, our friendly neighbors.
Anywho, that is neither here nor there. The point is this: If you live in Chicago, you need to find a friend that has a summer house on a lake. Its a staple. Necessary for anyone (all ages) to enjoy a Midwestern summer. And although I've lost my signature summer routine, I still have the ability to get my lakehouseon. Luckily for me, HLo's bf has a house and he will be having the first summer kick off next Saturday. And I just got my invite. Which I will have to take. His parties are sick and typically are a mess of drinking debauchery mixed with some sunning & water. Plus HLo got this new toy: Hello Lover!
I know, you're jealous. Your mouth is agape & you're drooling a little. Its ok. I understand.
With swim suit season rapidly approaching - yea it caught up with me - I have decided to hit the gym again. Ok, I did it for 2 reasons really: to attempt to avoid some of that commuter traffic home, and to kick mother nature in her ass. For some ungodly reason, Mother Nature has smacked me with the puberty stick. I have acne...well, 2 huge monsters growing out of my chinny-chin-chin. Blasphemy! That bitch. I definitely blame her, not the fact that I ate my weight in french fries, gave some slobby knobs drunk without the proper face washing etiquette afterwards, and found myself waking up in puddles of drool several times the past several weeks. Luckily things are looking up on that front. I miss my real gym...the office gym is full of uglies. Even though my old gym wasn't a beauty pagent either - it was full equipt with the people that wear jeans or flannel to work out, or the 80s leotards. It was awesome really. And it was at least comfortable (I could get away with my tshirt & capris in comfort) and had updated equiptment. However, on Monday I did spot 1 cute guy at the office gym who commented on my shirt*....potential drinking buddy...maybe.
As for C - he can suck it. I'm a little over spinning my wheels right now and yes, it is likely that I have over-analyzed everything to the point of making my recollection of events now unreliable. I broke down and texted him last night since I hadn't heard from him. ANNOYING. Asked him out AGAIN. ANNOYING. He responded but it was lame. ANNOYING. Then the combination of the perfect weather got me thinking this morning that we should do a Sox game tonight instead of dinner because who doesn't love baseball (and some of those asses that fill those pants!), beer, & hot dogs on a warm night?!? His response: a repeat to the question, "to go to the game?". YOU'RE A MORON C. YES. But I just said "yes". No response yet. I'm getting over it...over him...or maybe I'm just premenstrual. Its probably the later...
*The shirt is a gift after you complete "The Rail". The link is not mine but the only thing I could find on the matter. This night was a completely different story...
I have a feeling this summer will be an eye-opener for me. My old summer routine is in the dumps mostly because it was "our" routine. Me and the ex. We had our annual events all planned everything from concerts, camping music festivals, 4th of July trip, crashing friend's lake houses...and it was all a blast. My weekends were always filled with little trips and getaways and I loved it. And now, I will definitely miss it. For instance, this weekend I would be attending Summer Camp a 3day camping music fest which features bands which aren't necessarily main stream, they are more-or-less hippy stream. It hurts, just a bit.
But I have bigger and better things to look forward to. I just haven't figured them out quite yet. So far my plan is limited to 3 things: biking, kayaking the Chicago River (at least once), and crashing lake house parties.
For those of you who don't know, a FIB is a kind name that was bestowed upon us from our neighbors to the North (thank you Meth-consin) and to the North-East (Michigan). A FIB is a Fucking Illinois Bastard. This term is mostly directed towards the Chicagoans and those who live in the Chicago-land-area. The reason, simple: We attack in the summer. Their side of the lake is cleaner, not to mention they have other lakes nestled in everywhere. And its only 1-3hrs to get there. So we invaded. Buying houses to store our boats, ski-dos and other fun things in order to get our party on. And we're called bastards? Way to forget that we bring the revenue to the towns every summer. And you're welcome...you jealous assholes - I mean, our friendly neighbors.
Anywho, that is neither here nor there. The point is this: If you live in Chicago, you need to find a friend that has a summer house on a lake. Its a staple. Necessary for anyone (all ages) to enjoy a Midwestern summer. And although I've lost my signature summer routine, I still have the ability to get my lakehouseon. Luckily for me, HLo's bf has a house and he will be having the first summer kick off next Saturday. And I just got my invite. Which I will have to take. His parties are sick and typically are a mess of drinking debauchery mixed with some sunning & water. Plus HLo got this new toy: Hello Lover!
I know, you're jealous. Your mouth is agape & you're drooling a little. Its ok. I understand.
With swim suit season rapidly approaching - yea it caught up with me - I have decided to hit the gym again. Ok, I did it for 2 reasons really: to attempt to avoid some of that commuter traffic home, and to kick mother nature in her ass. For some ungodly reason, Mother Nature has smacked me with the puberty stick. I have acne...well, 2 huge monsters growing out of my chinny-chin-chin. Blasphemy! That bitch. I definitely blame her, not the fact that I ate my weight in french fries, gave some slobby knobs drunk without the proper face washing etiquette afterwards, and found myself waking up in puddles of drool several times the past several weeks. Luckily things are looking up on that front. I miss my real gym...the office gym is full of uglies. Even though my old gym wasn't a beauty pagent either - it was full equipt with the people that wear jeans or flannel to work out, or the 80s leotards. It was awesome really. And it was at least comfortable (I could get away with my tshirt & capris in comfort) and had updated equiptment. However, on Monday I did spot 1 cute guy at the office gym who commented on my shirt*....potential drinking buddy...maybe.
As for C - he can suck it. I'm a little over spinning my wheels right now and yes, it is likely that I have over-analyzed everything to the point of making my recollection of events now unreliable. I broke down and texted him last night since I hadn't heard from him. ANNOYING. Asked him out AGAIN. ANNOYING. He responded but it was lame. ANNOYING. Then the combination of the perfect weather got me thinking this morning that we should do a Sox game tonight instead of dinner because who doesn't love baseball (and some of those asses that fill those pants!), beer, & hot dogs on a warm night?!? His response: a repeat to the question, "to go to the game?". YOU'RE A MORON C. YES. But I just said "yes". No response yet. I'm getting over it...over him...or maybe I'm just premenstrual. Its probably the later...
*The shirt is a gift after you complete "The Rail". The link is not mine but the only thing I could find on the matter. This night was a completely different story...
Monday, May 18, 2009
Sappy Sunday
This weekend was totally random and quite honestly a little boring. But before I get to that I will give the dirt on #2...and the dirt really ain't that dirty....
At the work function last Wednesday the boss (aka #2's daddy-kins) was there and in full force once the bar opened. Everyone from my office was at the same table and the conversation turned to people's lives & their kids, as they tend to do. #2 no longer lives in the condo high rise in the Loop anymore as g-ma is reclaiming it. He has found a pad in Wrigley. Also, per the big guy, #2 (and I quote) is "unattached" which was followed by a long chuckle. Eventually the conversation turned to me and my new apartment...and the proximity to Wrigley. As we all know the boss brought his son to the boxing match in the hopes we would hit it off, so I am really curious if #2 will "find out" that I moved to the city and give me a buzz. We shall see...Now, back to the weekend recap.
I guess my weekend really started on Thursday when Dani came down to check out the apartment after work. We hung out at my place with a bottle of wine and some appetizers then walked the street to find a restaurant for dinner. We ended up at this cute Italian place that has outdoor seating. Did more drinking and than actual eating. The waitress was kind enough and started bringing us free shots - it was then when we started questioning how high our bill was because not just everyone gets free shots. The shots were some Italian speciality - to me it tasted like a lemon head after all of the sour was sucked off. Delish.
We hung around there for a while (receiving more free drinks & shots) then thought a night cap at the place across the street was in order. I drank a bottle of wine there, harassed the owner to speak in Italian to Dani (she's from Sicily) and then inspected the food that the guy ordered next to me. What can I say it looked & smelled great! Plus he was the wine distributor for the place and at the time I though I'd get to walk away with a free bottle. No such luck. Finally we left, leaving my debit card behind, and I was apparently semi-incoherent once we got back to my place. Dani, the responsible one, was able to drive home and used my GPS to do so.
Throughout the entire evening I was harassing C via text - initially asking if he'd want to meet up, then saying inappropriate vulgar things (abrigded version: i want to f* you & s* you) which got limited responses like: can't, food coma, I'm tired, work tomorrow, etc.
Friday I woke with a start on the couch and had to throw my still drunk ass in the shower. I was able to remember to grab my laundry since I'd be heading to the p's house after work for some quality time with my sister. Work was long and EVERYONE was in the office which was a shock. The big boss even came to me bright and early to discuss a claim matter. I was able to hold my own but if he could tell I was semi drunk/semi hungover he didn't mention it. Work was work, a little less busy than before. Friday hung with the fam, dropped my sister off at her tour bus (Tupelo, MS bound!) then put myself to bed.
Saturday I ran errands with my mom and made a couple of purchases for the apartment: a rug and swagy drapes for the front room. I loaded my car with a bar table/chairs, a poster and my bike then was on the road by 1. Me, a sweaty non-makeuped yesterday clothed girl walked up to my apartment in the middle of a party. It was definitely shameful. Luckily I was coming in the back since I was unloading my car and didn't have to physically walk through the party but I was there and made eye contact with several people. No "hello"s since I was too far away but I'm sure there will be time for that when I'm prepared. I spent Saturday putting together my apartment and cleaning. Then I felt like a loser - the party outside was in full swing and I sensed there was some flip cup action being had. So I read, then when the party died down I watched a movie.
Sunday I slept in and then finished my book. Then I did my nails while watching The Notebook and drinking a bottle of wine. This, was no good and fed into my insecurities with the party people and the fact that I had not heard a peep from C. Nothing. Nada. I decided on Friday that I would refrain from contacting him since I had been abusing my texting previlages all week, but I was hopeful that he would contact me. I'm guessing he needed a break from me and just didn't want to hang out this weekend.
Anywho, after crying during the movie and finishing up that bottle, I confirmed my feelings as a loser and continued my sappy Sunday marathon with Sex & The City. Again, probably not the best idea. It was a lot of drunken self reflection bull: why can't I meet my Mr. Big? why does that happen to me? why hasn't he called? Which we all know is total bs and in the light of a sober day is stupid girl stuff that is not true. Needless to say I put myself to bed around 9.
Today is a new day - and its sunny, much like the weekend was. I plan to hit the gym tonight in order to skip the traffic home. I need to rely on endorphens that don't just come from sex and the gym is another three letter word that can do that.
At the work function last Wednesday the boss (aka #2's daddy-kins) was there and in full force once the bar opened. Everyone from my office was at the same table and the conversation turned to people's lives & their kids, as they tend to do. #2 no longer lives in the condo high rise in the Loop anymore as g-ma is reclaiming it. He has found a pad in Wrigley. Also, per the big guy, #2 (and I quote) is "unattached" which was followed by a long chuckle. Eventually the conversation turned to me and my new apartment...and the proximity to Wrigley. As we all know the boss brought his son to the boxing match in the hopes we would hit it off, so I am really curious if #2 will "find out" that I moved to the city and give me a buzz. We shall see...Now, back to the weekend recap.
I guess my weekend really started on Thursday when Dani came down to check out the apartment after work. We hung out at my place with a bottle of wine and some appetizers then walked the street to find a restaurant for dinner. We ended up at this cute Italian place that has outdoor seating. Did more drinking and than actual eating. The waitress was kind enough and started bringing us free shots - it was then when we started questioning how high our bill was because not just everyone gets free shots. The shots were some Italian speciality - to me it tasted like a lemon head after all of the sour was sucked off. Delish.
We hung around there for a while (receiving more free drinks & shots) then thought a night cap at the place across the street was in order. I drank a bottle of wine there, harassed the owner to speak in Italian to Dani (she's from Sicily) and then inspected the food that the guy ordered next to me. What can I say it looked & smelled great! Plus he was the wine distributor for the place and at the time I though I'd get to walk away with a free bottle. No such luck. Finally we left, leaving my debit card behind, and I was apparently semi-incoherent once we got back to my place. Dani, the responsible one, was able to drive home and used my GPS to do so.
Throughout the entire evening I was harassing C via text - initially asking if he'd want to meet up, then saying inappropriate vulgar things (abrigded version: i want to f* you & s* you) which got limited responses like: can't, food coma, I'm tired, work tomorrow, etc.
Friday I woke with a start on the couch and had to throw my still drunk ass in the shower. I was able to remember to grab my laundry since I'd be heading to the p's house after work for some quality time with my sister. Work was long and EVERYONE was in the office which was a shock. The big boss even came to me bright and early to discuss a claim matter. I was able to hold my own but if he could tell I was semi drunk/semi hungover he didn't mention it. Work was work, a little less busy than before. Friday hung with the fam, dropped my sister off at her tour bus (Tupelo, MS bound!) then put myself to bed.
Saturday I ran errands with my mom and made a couple of purchases for the apartment: a rug and swagy drapes for the front room. I loaded my car with a bar table/chairs, a poster and my bike then was on the road by 1. Me, a sweaty non-makeuped yesterday clothed girl walked up to my apartment in the middle of a party. It was definitely shameful. Luckily I was coming in the back since I was unloading my car and didn't have to physically walk through the party but I was there and made eye contact with several people. No "hello"s since I was too far away but I'm sure there will be time for that when I'm prepared. I spent Saturday putting together my apartment and cleaning. Then I felt like a loser - the party outside was in full swing and I sensed there was some flip cup action being had. So I read, then when the party died down I watched a movie.
Sunday I slept in and then finished my book. Then I did my nails while watching The Notebook and drinking a bottle of wine. This, was no good and fed into my insecurities with the party people and the fact that I had not heard a peep from C. Nothing. Nada. I decided on Friday that I would refrain from contacting him since I had been abusing my texting previlages all week, but I was hopeful that he would contact me. I'm guessing he needed a break from me and just didn't want to hang out this weekend.
Anywho, after crying during the movie and finishing up that bottle, I confirmed my feelings as a loser and continued my sappy Sunday marathon with Sex & The City. Again, probably not the best idea. It was a lot of drunken self reflection bull: why can't I meet my Mr. Big? why does that happen to me? why hasn't he called? Which we all know is total bs and in the light of a sober day is stupid girl stuff that is not true. Needless to say I put myself to bed around 9.
Today is a new day - and its sunny, much like the weekend was. I plan to hit the gym tonight in order to skip the traffic home. I need to rely on endorphens that don't just come from sex and the gym is another three letter word that can do that.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
The blog that will never end...
I know, THIS following the longestbloginhistory. But its just a quick update - I finally checked the text. Well, I called Dani over to open it & read it first, then read it to me, then I read it for myself. It was much ado about nothing. Actually his text was just as ridiculous as mine. Dani says worse, and that we are the perfect match. I guess we're both 40 year olds stuck in 20somethings when it comes to texting. Whatever works!
OH and tomorrow I'll have to dish on the gossip I got about #2 from his daddy - I mean, my boss...
OH and tomorrow I'll have to dish on the gossip I got about #2 from his daddy - I mean, my boss...
Responsibility...and other shameful anecdotes
In my life I am very responsible. I pay all of my bills on time. I am punctual for work and rarely (if ever) call in sick. I am conscious of the others around me. Then...put a few drinks in me and these things tend to be put on its head. I am not a responsible drunk.
In all reality, I am pretty responsible even when intoxicated. Or at least I really try to be...at the beginning of the night. I give my friends things that I typically loose to hold for me. I single out at least $10 cash for a cab ride so I don't spend it. I always make it to the toilet to puke.* This all sounds good on paper, except when it comes to the intake of alcohol. I have no off button. I can never have just one. And this tends to lead to bad or awkward scenarios.
Out of college I got a job where I interned - everyone got a job at this place after they interned so the staff was between the ages of 21-26. Which led to a lot of happy hours. And excessive drinking/partying. What I am about to share is probably one of my worst moments which had to be pieced together by friends. Now looking back I can almost laugh at it, mostly because I actually survived without being thrown in jail.
After the summer outing at the outdoor horse track it was decided to continue the party at the local bar. Several hours later, I found myself in this bar with fancy dressed Asians attempting to get a drink. Moments after I was escorted out by police and what looked like circus staff to be questioned. I had crashed a wedding at a hotel, one block away from the track.
Immediately the water works were on - I was confused, didn't have my purse or phone, and apparently my car was parked in the front of the hotel with the ignition on. Luckily the hotel manager did not press charges and the officers went bye-bye (after they moved my car and gave me my belongings from it). And while the staff fed me water I, by the grace of God, was able to remember S's phone number to call for a pick-up. Granted it was a hysterical call. And it was her parent's house number. Needless to say waking up in a hotel is interesting. Between S coordinating with the ex my ride (who btw sucked - refusing to get me initially) and me staying at HLo's so she could drive me to my car the next morning, this was not one of my finer moments.
And there are others, most not so desperate or terrible. Those moments are typically funny and more light hearted but some may still have that moral hangover lingering the next day due to embarrassment. But who doesn't have those stories? Everyone I know does...even the good ones have those stories.
Anywho, things have definitely gotten better and officially last night I had a major break through: I stopped drinking so I could make it home.
Yesterday there was a work function. And as we know from past experiences I tend to keep the party going. I however only had 2, count them: 1, 2 glasses of wine! Success! I had arrainged to stay at HLo's since she lives very close to this function but I didn't need to. On purpose. The wine was oh-so-good but I restrained. Granted should the group have wanted to stay another 20min, restraining would have been a tad more difficult but I was determined not to sleep : 1) on the couch, or B) in my car, then be forced to wear the same clothes to work the next day - its a little telling.
But those 1-2 glasses of oh-so-good wine did give me a little buzz and driving home (buzz driving is not drunk driving!) I made my second attempt at sexting to C. Which I have come to find out is socially awkward and pathetic coming from me. Oh - did I not share the utterly SOBER embarrassing sext from earlier this week?
Rewind to Tuesday. Work sucks. I'm swamped and stressed. I need a stress reliever. The light bulb pops on revealing the answer in big bold letters: "S-E-X". Perfect! I will text C to see what he is up to tonight, but I will tempt him with sex. Great idea, right? I however am way to literal and manage to write this: lets have sex tonight k? Followed by: i don't mean to smother you but my head is in the gutter today. Um, hello?!? Totally lame right? I see that - no, actually I SAW that immediately after I hit the send button. He did reply & yes, we met up later - it was a sleepover on a school night.
Back to the drive home last night. Normal texting with C, then when the textersation was at its end I decided one more should do it. I'll sext, right? But make it better than the day before.
Ok, what I am about to share is utterly embarassing (the booze made me do it!) but there is a bigger picture here which I will selflessly use as an example to show others who also struggle with the idea of "sexting" on what not to do.
To you socially awkward texters I say this: Please don't do it. Even if the sext is well thought out, its really not. Its dumb. And probably really awkward. It does not sound as good to others as it may to you. Let sleeping dogs lie - especially if you are not even a dirty talker during sex then sexting is not for you.
Ok, here we go...
**Me: have you ever had one of those moments when you're day dreaming about recent late night activities & it catches your breath?
Immediately after hitting "send", reality of lameness smacked me in the face and I speed-dialed S. The first thing I told her was my mini-triumph of stopping the wine intake & not lying in a ditch drunk. She was proud. Then I told her my recent attempt with the text. She was not proud. She laughed (as did Dani today when I told her, and like you probably are right now). It was determined immediately that I either needed to stop the attempts asap, or use S as my sexting training wheels until I'm able to go out into the sexting world on my own.
I may lean towards the first solution. But in all reality, I will likely get buzzed again and try it out - the next time I'm prepared to share my attempts with S and if she approves it then I can send it to C. S is aware & has agreed to take this responsibility on full throtle, no matter what the content. Currently, she has nothing to worry about since I am so absolutly lame. But maybe, just maybe I'll improve and she'll be regretting this offer.
After we hung up I had a reply from C. Which I was too embarassed to open. So I continued my drive home. Then found open containers of port-wine cheese & wheat thins to stuff in my mouth, followed by a fudgcicle in order to keep my hands busy and avoid whatever was waiting for me on the other side of that inbox....
I have yet to open it. We're going on 17hrs now. Call it embarassment, shame, perhaps a combination of both but I am not ready to see what type of response is waiting. I'm sure he was like "wtf?" "idk" "stop texing me".
So, we'll see what transpires the rest of this week with regards to him and all of that. Tonight however I don't have to worry since Dani will be coming out after work to get our drink on - I MEAN so I can give her a tour of my new place & neighborhood. And tomorrow I'm back in the 'burbs for a farewell dinner with the fam since my sis is hitting the road again. All of this stuff will keep my mind otherwise occupied and away from this situation I find myself in. I'm a baby, I know it. But I'm just too embarassed to look in that inbox. I'll have to have someone do it for me first...
*I'm a "puke 'n rally" type of girl and its been that way since high school. I blame the shots of Skoll vodka in college as well. And to be honest, only 1x time this didn't work out. But batting 1 out of about a million is pretty damn good. I will now pat myself on the back thankyouverymuch.
**I know SOMEONE has to know what I'm talking about here, right? Its like a mind & body experience. So great, unless you're having it right next to someone like your grandma but otherwise a generally appreciated moment. Maybe something like that would have come off better if I said it to him post-nookie....probably not
In all reality, I am pretty responsible even when intoxicated. Or at least I really try to be...at the beginning of the night. I give my friends things that I typically loose to hold for me. I single out at least $10 cash for a cab ride so I don't spend it. I always make it to the toilet to puke.* This all sounds good on paper, except when it comes to the intake of alcohol. I have no off button. I can never have just one. And this tends to lead to bad or awkward scenarios.
Out of college I got a job where I interned - everyone got a job at this place after they interned so the staff was between the ages of 21-26. Which led to a lot of happy hours. And excessive drinking/partying. What I am about to share is probably one of my worst moments which had to be pieced together by friends. Now looking back I can almost laugh at it, mostly because I actually survived without being thrown in jail.
After the summer outing at the outdoor horse track it was decided to continue the party at the local bar. Several hours later, I found myself in this bar with fancy dressed Asians attempting to get a drink. Moments after I was escorted out by police and what looked like circus staff to be questioned. I had crashed a wedding at a hotel, one block away from the track.
Immediately the water works were on - I was confused, didn't have my purse or phone, and apparently my car was parked in the front of the hotel with the ignition on. Luckily the hotel manager did not press charges and the officers went bye-bye (after they moved my car and gave me my belongings from it). And while the staff fed me water I, by the grace of God, was able to remember S's phone number to call for a pick-up. Granted it was a hysterical call. And it was her parent's house number. Needless to say waking up in a hotel is interesting. Between S coordinating with the ex my ride (who btw sucked - refusing to get me initially) and me staying at HLo's so she could drive me to my car the next morning, this was not one of my finer moments.
And there are others, most not so desperate or terrible. Those moments are typically funny and more light hearted but some may still have that moral hangover lingering the next day due to embarrassment. But who doesn't have those stories? Everyone I know does...even the good ones have those stories.
Anywho, things have definitely gotten better and officially last night I had a major break through: I stopped drinking so I could make it home.
Yesterday there was a work function. And as we know from past experiences I tend to keep the party going. I however only had 2, count them: 1, 2 glasses of wine! Success! I had arrainged to stay at HLo's since she lives very close to this function but I didn't need to. On purpose. The wine was oh-so-good but I restrained. Granted should the group have wanted to stay another 20min, restraining would have been a tad more difficult but I was determined not to sleep : 1) on the couch, or B) in my car, then be forced to wear the same clothes to work the next day - its a little telling.
But those 1-2 glasses of oh-so-good wine did give me a little buzz and driving home (buzz driving is not drunk driving!) I made my second attempt at sexting to C. Which I have come to find out is socially awkward and pathetic coming from me. Oh - did I not share the utterly SOBER embarrassing sext from earlier this week?
Rewind to Tuesday. Work sucks. I'm swamped and stressed. I need a stress reliever. The light bulb pops on revealing the answer in big bold letters: "S-E-X". Perfect! I will text C to see what he is up to tonight, but I will tempt him with sex. Great idea, right? I however am way to literal and manage to write this: lets have sex tonight k? Followed by: i don't mean to smother you but my head is in the gutter today. Um, hello?!? Totally lame right? I see that - no, actually I SAW that immediately after I hit the send button. He did reply & yes, we met up later - it was a sleepover on a school night.
Back to the drive home last night. Normal texting with C, then when the textersation was at its end I decided one more should do it. I'll sext, right? But make it better than the day before.
Ok, what I am about to share is utterly embarassing (the booze made me do it!) but there is a bigger picture here which I will selflessly use as an example to show others who also struggle with the idea of "sexting" on what not to do.
To you socially awkward texters I say this: Please don't do it. Even if the sext is well thought out, its really not. Its dumb. And probably really awkward. It does not sound as good to others as it may to you. Let sleeping dogs lie - especially if you are not even a dirty talker during sex then sexting is not for you.
Ok, here we go...
**Me: have you ever had one of those moments when you're day dreaming about recent late night activities & it catches your breath?
Immediately after hitting "send", reality of lameness smacked me in the face and I speed-dialed S. The first thing I told her was my mini-triumph of stopping the wine intake & not lying in a ditch drunk. She was proud. Then I told her my recent attempt with the text. She was not proud. She laughed (as did Dani today when I told her, and like you probably are right now). It was determined immediately that I either needed to stop the attempts asap, or use S as my sexting training wheels until I'm able to go out into the sexting world on my own.
I may lean towards the first solution. But in all reality, I will likely get buzzed again and try it out - the next time I'm prepared to share my attempts with S and if she approves it then I can send it to C. S is aware & has agreed to take this responsibility on full throtle, no matter what the content. Currently, she has nothing to worry about since I am so absolutly lame. But maybe, just maybe I'll improve and she'll be regretting this offer.
After we hung up I had a reply from C. Which I was too embarassed to open. So I continued my drive home. Then found open containers of port-wine cheese & wheat thins to stuff in my mouth, followed by a fudgcicle in order to keep my hands busy and avoid whatever was waiting for me on the other side of that inbox....
I have yet to open it. We're going on 17hrs now. Call it embarassment, shame, perhaps a combination of both but I am not ready to see what type of response is waiting. I'm sure he was like "wtf?" "idk" "stop texing me".
So, we'll see what transpires the rest of this week with regards to him and all of that. Tonight however I don't have to worry since Dani will be coming out after work to get our drink on - I MEAN so I can give her a tour of my new place & neighborhood. And tomorrow I'm back in the 'burbs for a farewell dinner with the fam since my sis is hitting the road again. All of this stuff will keep my mind otherwise occupied and away from this situation I find myself in. I'm a baby, I know it. But I'm just too embarassed to look in that inbox. I'll have to have someone do it for me first...
*I'm a "puke 'n rally" type of girl and its been that way since high school. I blame the shots of Skoll vodka in college as well. And to be honest, only 1x time this didn't work out. But batting 1 out of about a million is pretty damn good. I will now pat myself on the back thankyouverymuch.
**I know SOMEONE has to know what I'm talking about here, right? Its like a mind & body experience. So great, unless you're having it right next to someone like your grandma but otherwise a generally appreciated moment. Maybe something like that would have come off better if I said it to him post-nookie....probably not
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Ode to My Straightener
A Series of Short Haiku'sAhem....
where were you before
the mid 90s needed you
those pictures scare me
introduced by M
no more nappy fuzzy hair
you showed me the way
genius invention
smooth, sleek, shiny, controlled hair
without, i can't live
I could go on.....BUT is there anything you want to Haiku about?
Perhaps that toilet seat cover for the port-a-potty on a hot summer day while at the local hippy fest? Maybe standing to the left of a friend that just got goosed with bird poop?
Or if you have no imagination, you can read others
*Its supposed to 5-7-5. I think I did it. At least in MY head I did...unless I didn't, in which case I need to walk into the closest 1st grade classroom asap.
Monday, May 11, 2009
The Weekend Update....
This weekend contained a lot of drinking. Even this morning I feel the residual effects of the booze. What can I say, this old body of mine does not handle the post-drinking side effects very well anymore. It typically takes about 2days for me to feel normal again, longer if I was consecutively drunk 2+ days in a row. And today, my body hates me. Happy Monday to me.
Thursday included a multitude of cocktails (black cherry/sprites to jack&cokes) and the occasional shot of Rumplemen's. This tends to explain that.
Friday was Mom's Day wine tasting with the girls and their moms. It was a huge hit! After the tasting a group of us went to a local tiki-inspired bar. The moms dug it and ordered shots - even taking a shot-ski! It was hilarious. Us girls knew our mom's would hit it off. We all have drinking/partying problems aparently...must be genetic
Saturday we celebrated the May birthdays at my new place. A, T & M are all about a week apart and with wedding season breathing down our necks it was the only free time this month everyone could get together. Cocktails & appetizers at my place then we headed up the street to the local mexican joint. I drank my weight in Margarita's - with extra tequilla, thankyouverymuch - then convinced everyone it would be a good idea to head back to my place to test out my new shot glasses with some Mango Liqour. It was after this when I "woke up" in the bar around the corner then planned to meet up with C, snagging a ride from M's boytoy.
Apparently I unloaded my entire purse giving everything (yes, EVERYTHING) to C to hold in his pockets while at the bar...which he actually did! I just have the faint recollection of thinking I lost my keys (or cell or gum, or camera....) but he would pull it out of his pocket. I know that I tend to loose things when I'm three sheets to the wind, but to unload on C and that he actually took it all makes me want to pee my pants with laughter. And I almost did Sunday morning when he was telling me all about it.
Sunday morning was a little rough (read: I was very hungover). C got dressed & was out the door about 30seconds before the fam walked in for our Mom's Day celebrations. While my sister & I felt the pains from the night before, my mom was ready to celebrate - a bottle of wine later and two beers at the bar she was feeling pretty damn good. After they left, I snuck in a nap then C & I grabbed dinner and at each other until 10ish.
All in all it was a fantastic weekend. I got to spend quality time with the fam, with the girls and with C.
I know - C & I hung out like 4days in a row! Yay for having sex regularly! Not to mention the fact that I am SUPER smitten with him.
Thursday included a multitude of cocktails (black cherry/sprites to jack&cokes) and the occasional shot of Rumplemen's. This tends to explain that.
Friday was Mom's Day wine tasting with the girls and their moms. It was a huge hit! After the tasting a group of us went to a local tiki-inspired bar. The moms dug it and ordered shots - even taking a shot-ski! It was hilarious. Us girls knew our mom's would hit it off. We all have drinking/partying problems aparently...must be genetic
Saturday we celebrated the May birthdays at my new place. A, T & M are all about a week apart and with wedding season breathing down our necks it was the only free time this month everyone could get together. Cocktails & appetizers at my place then we headed up the street to the local mexican joint. I drank my weight in Margarita's - with extra tequilla, thankyouverymuch - then convinced everyone it would be a good idea to head back to my place to test out my new shot glasses with some Mango Liqour. It was after this when I "woke up" in the bar around the corner then planned to meet up with C, snagging a ride from M's boytoy.
Apparently I unloaded my entire purse giving everything (yes, EVERYTHING) to C to hold in his pockets while at the bar...which he actually did! I just have the faint recollection of thinking I lost my keys (or cell or gum, or camera....) but he would pull it out of his pocket. I know that I tend to loose things when I'm three sheets to the wind, but to unload on C and that he actually took it all makes me want to pee my pants with laughter. And I almost did Sunday morning when he was telling me all about it.
Sunday morning was a little rough (read: I was very hungover). C got dressed & was out the door about 30seconds before the fam walked in for our Mom's Day celebrations. While my sister & I felt the pains from the night before, my mom was ready to celebrate - a bottle of wine later and two beers at the bar she was feeling pretty damn good. After they left, I snuck in a nap then C & I grabbed dinner and at each other until 10ish.
All in all it was a fantastic weekend. I got to spend quality time with the fam, with the girls and with C.
I know - C & I hung out like 4days in a row! Yay for having sex regularly! Not to mention the fact that I am SUPER smitten with him.
Can a "Ken" date a "Skipper"?
+ 
= ?????
Laying next to C after another rousing session on Thursday night it dawned on me - he is a gorgeous guy...almost too gorgeous. He's blond, blue eyed, thin, cut, tall. He is my own real life Ken Doll (but with an actual package). And here I am, more like a Skipper Doll, but probably not as thin.
Dunken word diarrhea got the best of me in this almost perfect moment: Are you faking with me? Puzzlement washed over C's face and he asked me to explain what I meant. It was at that moment when I was finally snapped out of drunken dialog and realized I had no real clue how to explain myself - this was a personal fleeting thought not meant for him to hear or know. I tried to get out of it by brushing it off but his gaze became intense and he begged me to explain. But I couldn't put it into words. How to you tell someone that you almost feel inferior to their beauty, smarts, drive, passion? How can you say: I don't get what you see in me?
Dunken word diarrhea got the best of me in this almost perfect moment: Are you faking with me? Puzzlement washed over C's face and he asked me to explain what I meant. It was at that moment when I was finally snapped out of drunken dialog and realized I had no real clue how to explain myself - this was a personal fleeting thought not meant for him to hear or know. I tried to get out of it by brushing it off but his gaze became intense and he begged me to explain. But I couldn't put it into words. How to you tell someone that you almost feel inferior to their beauty, smarts, drive, passion? How can you say: I don't get what you see in me?
Oh, but I tried to verbalize it. It included a lot of stammering, a lot of um's & buts. I even gave my little Mattel analogy. And all the while we were still naked, spooning and basking in the glow of great sex less than 10min prior. You would think I could finagle my way out of this annoying situation that I myself created, but no. He face fell and he looked upset and hurt while I was busy digging that hole deeper and deeper. Eventually he dropped it, kissed me and said he was sad I couldn't see in myself what he sees in me.
I never though of myself as that girl that fishes for compliments or has an inferiority complex. But I have never dated a guy that is this perfect on paper and so far in person too. I guess I'm waiting for that other shoe to drop.
Luckily my crazy verbal diarrhea did not deter Ken, I mean C, from hanging out the rest of the weekend. We met up on Saturday night in Wrigley and grabbed dinner Sunday. Nothing was brought up about this again. Although it did seem as if he was even more attentive and giving out compliments more than usual. It was nice, not overkill but I hope things get back to normal asap.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Drained
Thank goodness its Thursday. Tomorrow I don't have to work and I am relishing in the thought of sleeping in. I deserve it. The move went very well, but I have been going non-stop since Friday: shopping, cleaning, organizing, commuting, working. I am just so drained right now. Case in point - falling asleep at 8:30pm on the couch while reading. I now realize why people take a day off work to move.
I just don't have it in me to write a well rounded post so here is a list of things that I have learned this week:
*Having sex instead of grocery shopping, although it may seem like a good idea at the time, really f's up your food for the week
*Living on vending machine food may seem appealing at first but in all reality after day 2 it is not that great
*Scrubbing the bathroom with bleach products is necessary but be sure to leave the exhaust fan on
*Eating mac n' cheese and drinking a beer is not always white-trashy, even if you are doing it alone
*Even though you look like Norman Bates from Psycho, hand washing dishes with gloves on will save your hands
*Slip covers tend to look like loose skin if not smoothed & tucked in between the cushions
*Pot holes disappear when it rains
*There is no such thing as a reverse commute
*One must know the Cubs home game schedule, especially the evening games
*Check locations of street lamps near the bedroom window before your first night
*Drinking beer while doing dishes makes it actually seem like fun
*Buying decorative throw pillows is not as easy or exciting as you'd think
*The Swiffer Wet-Jet saves lives
*Walk-in closets are just as great as they seem
*Cable is not over-rated
*Hard flat sandals, although they look hot are not necessarily the best footwear for city walking
*Riding the bus isn't scary, at least at 6pm on a Tuesday
*Having a sex drawer is amazing
*A boy that likes you will help you unpack/clean/set up things
*Emailing said boy about work stuff is probably not the best idea; it is likely that he will not respond
*The Piano Man is Billy Joel
*Having your TV stand be an empty box isn't as terrible as becoming broke trying to furnish an apartment
*I have a major attraction to the color red
*Using a screw driver to put up curtain rods does not work and creates unnecessary holes in the walls.
*Older refridgerators make interesting noises
*All stoves/ovens don't have push buttons near the clock
*I don't know how I survived college
*Living alone is worth every penny
I just don't have it in me to write a well rounded post so here is a list of things that I have learned this week:
*Having sex instead of grocery shopping, although it may seem like a good idea at the time, really f's up your food for the week
*Living on vending machine food may seem appealing at first but in all reality after day 2 it is not that great
*Scrubbing the bathroom with bleach products is necessary but be sure to leave the exhaust fan on
*Eating mac n' cheese and drinking a beer is not always white-trashy, even if you are doing it alone
*Even though you look like Norman Bates from Psycho, hand washing dishes with gloves on will save your hands
*Slip covers tend to look like loose skin if not smoothed & tucked in between the cushions
*Pot holes disappear when it rains
*There is no such thing as a reverse commute
*One must know the Cubs home game schedule, especially the evening games
*Check locations of street lamps near the bedroom window before your first night
*Drinking beer while doing dishes makes it actually seem like fun
*Buying decorative throw pillows is not as easy or exciting as you'd think
*The Swiffer Wet-Jet saves lives
*Walk-in closets are just as great as they seem
*Cable is not over-rated
*Hard flat sandals, although they look hot are not necessarily the best footwear for city walking
*Riding the bus isn't scary, at least at 6pm on a Tuesday
*Having a sex drawer is amazing
*A boy that likes you will help you unpack/clean/set up things
*Emailing said boy about work stuff is probably not the best idea; it is likely that he will not respond
*The Piano Man is Billy Joel
*Having your TV stand be an empty box isn't as terrible as becoming broke trying to furnish an apartment
*I have a major attraction to the color red
*Using a screw driver to put up curtain rods does not work and creates unnecessary holes in the walls.
*Older refridgerators make interesting noises
*All stoves/ovens don't have push buttons near the clock
*I don't know how I survived college
*Living alone is worth every penny
Friday, May 1, 2009
Really?
Beep.....Beep.......Beep
I have a text message waiting! My heart is racing with excitement that C had a moment between his jam packed week for work and moving that he thought of me!
Digging....digging through the drawer in my desk that holds my purse...through the pocket that holds my phone...new text messasge confirmed!
I flip open my phone and the excitement turns to worry...its the ex: "wrote you on facebook"
Really? REALLY? We haven't spoken in months - mostly due to the fact that I could not take his whinning about hanging out and taking him back any more. He broke up with me. And I'm sorry he regrets his decision, but I had moved on.
The last time we spoke I told him I was dating other people, which at that time was #2. And let's face it, it wasn't dating. It was fucking, but no need to break his heart. Needless to say the ex did not make any attempt at communication since he found out I was "dating" and honestly, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Although I still think/care about him, there is no need to keep a totally open line of communication or hang out. There is no point.
Login to Facebook. Inbox (1). I clicked on it:
"hey, have not talked to you in awhile. i hear you are moving soon. tell me about it?? new job as well?? i am hoping to move out june 1st with andy in the city, probably lincoln park area. little worried about living with him because of his money situation, so have to find something reasonably priced. i would love to catch up sometime though..."
Fuck. Really. Did this just really happen right when things were going so well. When I was moving to the city. Now we'll be even closer than we were living in the 'burbs.
The anxiety has increased. I have this looming over me now, on top of the big move this weekend. I have no clue what to write back. I don't want to see him. I don't want to fill him in. I was finally comfortable with all ties being severed....
Although they never are. His friends still text & email me every so often. The ex & I are still friends through Facebook, so of course he can see all the people writing on my wall about the move and stalk my going-ons. His mom just emailed me a month ago telling me about her trip to Vegas and his sister-in-law emails me with updates on her pregnancy. I have only severed ties with him, and as much as I hate the thought of it - of loosing 6 years of relationships - its time to sever them all. I just hope I'm strong enough to do it.
I have a text message waiting! My heart is racing with excitement that C had a moment between his jam packed week for work and moving that he thought of me!
Digging....digging through the drawer in my desk that holds my purse...through the pocket that holds my phone...new text messasge confirmed!
I flip open my phone and the excitement turns to worry...its the ex: "wrote you on facebook"
Really? REALLY? We haven't spoken in months - mostly due to the fact that I could not take his whinning about hanging out and taking him back any more. He broke up with me. And I'm sorry he regrets his decision, but I had moved on.
The last time we spoke I told him I was dating other people, which at that time was #2. And let's face it, it wasn't dating. It was fucking, but no need to break his heart. Needless to say the ex did not make any attempt at communication since he found out I was "dating" and honestly, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Although I still think/care about him, there is no need to keep a totally open line of communication or hang out. There is no point.
Login to Facebook. Inbox (1). I clicked on it:
"hey, have not talked to you in awhile. i hear you are moving soon. tell me about it?? new job as well?? i am hoping to move out june 1st with andy in the city, probably lincoln park area. little worried about living with him because of his money situation, so have to find something reasonably priced. i would love to catch up sometime though..."
Fuck. Really. Did this just really happen right when things were going so well. When I was moving to the city. Now we'll be even closer than we were living in the 'burbs.
The anxiety has increased. I have this looming over me now, on top of the big move this weekend. I have no clue what to write back. I don't want to see him. I don't want to fill him in. I was finally comfortable with all ties being severed....
Although they never are. His friends still text & email me every so often. The ex & I are still friends through Facebook, so of course he can see all the people writing on my wall about the move and stalk my going-ons. His mom just emailed me a month ago telling me about her trip to Vegas and his sister-in-law emails me with updates on her pregnancy. I have only severed ties with him, and as much as I hate the thought of it - of loosing 6 years of relationships - its time to sever them all. I just hope I'm strong enough to do it.
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