Its nailed down. In stone. I start with the CompanyB on April 15th. 7:30am. Downtown Chicago. Its happening. 2 weeks. Now all I have to do is give notice...
I'm a little nervous about this. I've done it before but this job has more meaning to me than the last. Probably because I know I'm giving up a lot of perks and some really great people. And let's face it, a pretty cushy job. But even with all of the positives I still feel that this is right move. For me. To move forward. To grow up.
I can already picture what is going to happen. My mental image is not looking pretty. I expect shock from my supervisor and executive director. A closed door meeting. A counter offer. But their money is not their own - it requires approval from the board which I doubt would give it. And I doubt that I would even take it....unless it was a couple thou over what CompanyB is giving me.
Plus when you work with middle age to elderly women they gossip. A lot. In whispers. This is going to spread like wildfire. And more likely than not there will be rumours surrounding it (OMG she was sleeping with the boss' son! - ha if they only knew). Along with dirty looks. I suspect only a small few will actually approach me.
Its final. The resignation letter is written, printed, signed & sealed.
Hopefully my nerves don't get the best of me.
But for now, its time for a celebratory cocktail!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
ARGGGG
A pirate. Me. Not intentionally. But I finally realize this at 1 am while at the bar. Crap. Its been hours. I have on a white & black striped shirt, long black cartigan & a gold chain. I'm fucking Long John Silver. I'm never having sex again. After I realize this, I turn to L with a hand over my eye saying "ARG". After we bust out in laughter, she's in agreement but says "its not THAT bad". Yea right. Crap.
A peaceful evening in the 'burbs turns into another night of hilarity. Nothing TOO crazy but there are nicknames given & laughter at others ensues.
I'm in suburban hell. Yea, I'm not lying to you. The city I live in has turned into a divorce's paradise & we're just the a-holes to watch these cougars. Kill me now. NO, kill them & give their hides for boots! If it were only that simple.
We frequent an 80s bar. Granted, I know it is unlikely that we will be the oldest (thank the lucky stars!) but I never invisioned an invasion quite like this. The cougars are a-prowlin'. Good for them. I'm sure they've been through hell and back and have kids tugging at their tails but shit...leave me with this damn lephrecan next to me?!? Damn ladies. You know I might not have you're swagger but don't snatch up all the guys!
And we were left with the lepard. He was short. Balding. Awkward. Every 2 minutes he would turn to me & L, "What are you ladies drinking?" - yet he would not buy us a new drink. WTF. Eventually L called over two cuties to get the leprechan away. They were 22. Shit. And new to town. Double whammy. We told them the hot spots then exited. Our time here has passed. Til next time 'ville! See you then.
A peaceful evening in the 'burbs turns into another night of hilarity. Nothing TOO crazy but there are nicknames given & laughter at others ensues.
I'm in suburban hell. Yea, I'm not lying to you. The city I live in has turned into a divorce's paradise & we're just the a-holes to watch these cougars. Kill me now. NO, kill them & give their hides for boots! If it were only that simple.
We frequent an 80s bar. Granted, I know it is unlikely that we will be the oldest (thank the lucky stars!) but I never invisioned an invasion quite like this. The cougars are a-prowlin'. Good for them. I'm sure they've been through hell and back and have kids tugging at their tails but shit...leave me with this damn lephrecan next to me?!? Damn ladies. You know I might not have you're swagger but don't snatch up all the guys!
And we were left with the lepard. He was short. Balding. Awkward. Every 2 minutes he would turn to me & L, "What are you ladies drinking?" - yet he would not buy us a new drink. WTF. Eventually L called over two cuties to get the leprechan away. They were 22. Shit. And new to town. Double whammy. We told them the hot spots then exited. Our time here has passed. Til next time 'ville! See you then.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
The Plight of the Single Drunk
Granted, the above statement should be used loosely and with some humor but it probably sums up the past 6months of single-hood for me. Welcome to my life. The life of the single drunk. And no, I am not an alcoholic - thankyouverylittle - but I am noticing a concerning trend.
Single JD. Drunk JD. Let's just say they don't get along all of the time. This I attribute to my new place in life - the third wheeler.
Everyone has their close friends, then their other group of friends separate from the best friend group. I lost my other group of friends - HE got them in the "break". So now I tend to ride the coat tails of my close friends when it comes to nights out.
Now, I know their friends well enough and I'm o.k. with being the only "outsider" while I'm tagging along. But even though I have almost mastered the act of the official third wheeler, there are a few loopholes which I'm finding lead to disastrous drinking...
Loophole #1: I know you, but I don't really know you
Yes, I will catch up with the familiar faces but, let's face it, I only know you on the superficial level. We've only partied together and we're not friends. Conversations are short and require some lubrication...SHOTS!
Loophole #2: A-l-l B-y M-y-s---e----l--------f (sing it!)
There will be times when I'm left by my lonesome. Its to be expected, plus I don't need a babysitter. However in this alone moment, I typically head to the bar making new friends along the way. Oh if not at the bar making friends with the guy standing next to me (or the male bar tender) then you'll definitely find me in the bathroom, making friends with the attendant or the girl in line behind me. We all become fast BFFs...SHOTS!
Loophole #3: Fitting In
What more is there to say...I'll take a double
Loophole #4: Let's Get the Party Started
My little catch phrase: "SUPER PARTY MODE!" tends to get attention and as a newbe of a group shows that I'm fun & outgoing. But it requires shots, and lots of them.
Don't get me wrong, I am a confident firecracker most days but being an outsider does this to me. Once the drinks are a-flowin' I feel more comfortable and am able to unwind a little. And not have the above list be the main focus. As a single gal living in a couples world I'll fully admit to turning to the drink for support at times. Let's see what happens this weekend...
Single JD. Drunk JD. Let's just say they don't get along all of the time. This I attribute to my new place in life - the third wheeler.
Everyone has their close friends, then their other group of friends separate from the best friend group. I lost my other group of friends - HE got them in the "break". So now I tend to ride the coat tails of my close friends when it comes to nights out.
Now, I know their friends well enough and I'm o.k. with being the only "outsider" while I'm tagging along. But even though I have almost mastered the act of the official third wheeler, there are a few loopholes which I'm finding lead to disastrous drinking...
Loophole #1: I know you, but I don't really know you
Yes, I will catch up with the familiar faces but, let's face it, I only know you on the superficial level. We've only partied together and we're not friends. Conversations are short and require some lubrication...SHOTS!
Loophole #2: A-l-l B-y M-y-s---e----l--------f (sing it!)
There will be times when I'm left by my lonesome. Its to be expected, plus I don't need a babysitter. However in this alone moment, I typically head to the bar making new friends along the way. Oh if not at the bar making friends with the guy standing next to me (or the male bar tender) then you'll definitely find me in the bathroom, making friends with the attendant or the girl in line behind me. We all become fast BFFs...SHOTS!
Loophole #3: Fitting In
What more is there to say...I'll take a double
Loophole #4: Let's Get the Party Started
My little catch phrase: "SUPER PARTY MODE!" tends to get attention and as a newbe of a group shows that I'm fun & outgoing. But it requires shots, and lots of them.
Don't get me wrong, I am a confident firecracker most days but being an outsider does this to me. Once the drinks are a-flowin' I feel more comfortable and am able to unwind a little. And not have the above list be the main focus. As a single gal living in a couples world I'll fully admit to turning to the drink for support at times. Let's see what happens this weekend...
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Winter Fling
I never thought I would be one to have a winter fling of all things...honestly I never knew they even existed; summer flings - yes, winter flings - no. But I guess since its Chicago I can see how the cold weather would make you want to have a little somthin'-somethin' to cuddle up with during all the snowstorms.
This was always one of my most prized stories since it always opens with: "I'm sleeping with my boss' son" Its a good line, always gets lots of laughs. Now however, the story is: "I USED TO sleep with my boss' son". Not so clever.
We met at a work function in October - a boxing match held by a vendor downtown. The boss brought his son - the same name as my ex, so I call him #2. Needless to say I like to throw back a couple after work and have no inner diaglog that says "you should slow down". And since I don't work most Fridays this was the perfect excuse to have a few. #2 & I hit it off which is likely due to the fact that we were the only people in attendance that were in their mid-20s and single. We were both smashed, decided to go bar hopping and ended up having...a happy ending, if you will. My first as being newly single.
It actually wasn't a one night stand. I was shocked when he called the next week. Things progressed but we gave each other space too - not hanging out too much or talking on the phone excessivly. Neither of us wanting to have the boss (his dad) find out or wanting a relationship. It was super casual. Fun. Great sex.
Fast forward to about a month ago...
"You know, I've been talking with other girls but I'm really glad I chose you to hang out with tonight. Its been so much fun" - says #2.
"You've RUINED EVERYTHING!" - me, the crazy drunk girl at the bowling alley (yea, it was the first time since November we actually made it out of the apartment).
Let's just say the remainder of the evening was a wash. We tried to get past it but I was pissed...and very intoxicated. The wheels are spinning: why would he say that? He just ruined the fun I was having! And I know we're not exclusive, but I never wanted to actually have the PICTURE in my head that he was talking/seeing other girls.
"Its supposed to be a compliment" - says #2.
No thanks. Its like saying "You're really pretty compaired to the girl I went out with last night". A back handed compliment. Couldn't he have just said he was having fun and left it at that? PLUS should I kiss your feet because you CHOSE to hang out with me....ego much.
We've barely spoken since. There have been an exchange or two of drunken texts - all started by me of course. And then I realized, I've been played.
I'd hate to take advise from such a stupid book/movie but "He's Just Not That Into You" has a point - you're not an exception, you're the rule. Nieve me thought we were "exclusively" having sex with only the other person. We talked about it, we agreed we would tell each other if we were "seeing" other people that way. He swore on that fatefull night a month ago that I was the only one that he was sleeping with but really, I doubt it.
Now the pieces make sense: 1) we hung out only once per week, on a night that he usually had to stay in due to an early start the next day - typically when he had to work 2) we never left his apartment - we'd order in food, drink, play games, a-hemmm but never went out 3) he never wanted to meet up with me when I was downtown with friends 4) he never wanted to go places I invited him to - he always seemed to have a buddy's birthday party to attend; I think at least 5 between January & March
I'm coming to terms with it. And its my own doing. The problem is, I was actually really really liking him.
OH and this is great: I found out last week from a friend/vendor that my boss told her that he brought #2 to the event in October to meet me in hopes we'd hit it off. If he only knew he hooked up his son in more ways than one...
This was always one of my most prized stories since it always opens with: "I'm sleeping with my boss' son" Its a good line, always gets lots of laughs. Now however, the story is: "I USED TO sleep with my boss' son". Not so clever.
We met at a work function in October - a boxing match held by a vendor downtown. The boss brought his son - the same name as my ex, so I call him #2. Needless to say I like to throw back a couple after work and have no inner diaglog that says "you should slow down". And since I don't work most Fridays this was the perfect excuse to have a few. #2 & I hit it off which is likely due to the fact that we were the only people in attendance that were in their mid-20s and single. We were both smashed, decided to go bar hopping and ended up having...a happy ending, if you will. My first as being newly single.
It actually wasn't a one night stand. I was shocked when he called the next week. Things progressed but we gave each other space too - not hanging out too much or talking on the phone excessivly. Neither of us wanting to have the boss (his dad) find out or wanting a relationship. It was super casual. Fun. Great sex.
Fast forward to about a month ago...
"You know, I've been talking with other girls but I'm really glad I chose you to hang out with tonight. Its been so much fun" - says #2.
"You've RUINED EVERYTHING!" - me, the crazy drunk girl at the bowling alley (yea, it was the first time since November we actually made it out of the apartment).
Let's just say the remainder of the evening was a wash. We tried to get past it but I was pissed...and very intoxicated. The wheels are spinning: why would he say that? He just ruined the fun I was having! And I know we're not exclusive, but I never wanted to actually have the PICTURE in my head that he was talking/seeing other girls.
"Its supposed to be a compliment" - says #2.
No thanks. Its like saying "You're really pretty compaired to the girl I went out with last night". A back handed compliment. Couldn't he have just said he was having fun and left it at that? PLUS should I kiss your feet because you CHOSE to hang out with me....ego much.
We've barely spoken since. There have been an exchange or two of drunken texts - all started by me of course. And then I realized, I've been played.
I'd hate to take advise from such a stupid book/movie but "He's Just Not That Into You" has a point - you're not an exception, you're the rule. Nieve me thought we were "exclusively" having sex with only the other person. We talked about it, we agreed we would tell each other if we were "seeing" other people that way. He swore on that fatefull night a month ago that I was the only one that he was sleeping with but really, I doubt it.
Now the pieces make sense: 1) we hung out only once per week, on a night that he usually had to stay in due to an early start the next day - typically when he had to work 2) we never left his apartment - we'd order in food, drink, play games, a-hemmm but never went out 3) he never wanted to meet up with me when I was downtown with friends 4) he never wanted to go places I invited him to - he always seemed to have a buddy's birthday party to attend; I think at least 5 between January & March
I'm coming to terms with it. And its my own doing. The problem is, I was actually really really liking him.
OH and this is great: I found out last week from a friend/vendor that my boss told her that he brought #2 to the event in October to meet me in hopes we'd hit it off. If he only knew he hooked up his son in more ways than one...
Monday, March 23, 2009
The Secret
Has anyone heard of this? It is a book that has been made into a documentary - History Channel style - about the secret to a healthy, happy, and prosperous life. Needless to say my "roommate" got it for me to watch this weekend. She said it would help me with my big decision and perhaps guide me. So I watched it...well sort of since I was slipping in & out of hang-over consciousness.
The Law of Attraction. That is the big secret. You want something, you visualize it and internalize that feeling as if you already have it by envisioning yourself with what you want. Then the universe will bring it to you. There is no time limit on this, it could happen in 30days or in 90. But everyday you must continue to visualize and feel it until it comes to you. You're faith can not waiver, you can not have negative thoughts, not even on one day as it will jeopardize if it will be delivered to you.
My interpretation is that it is a bit of meditation and religion mixed together.
The guy who wrote the Chicken Soup for the Soul books apparently lives by this mantra. He says he visualized making $100k within a year. Then after about a month, the $100k vision came to him - he was to sell copies a book he had already written. Seriously? You're telling me that because you visualized the $100k every day, taking that good feeling into account every morning that you FINALLY realized that you should actually SELL the book you had already written. Hmmm....
I do agree that by being positive you will "attract" more positive attention thus good things will most likely happen or come to you. I am a believer in the "waking up on the wrong side of the bed" mentality. But I'm just not sure I'm buying into the entire "secret" - that the universe will bring your wildest desires and dreams right to your doorstep if you visualize it happening.
So I'm going to try it for 1 month. I'm going to start small, by "attracting" a $2500 gift from the universe...without having to work for it. I will visualize my goal and the associated feeling every morning. I will avoid all bad feelings which may deter the universe from delivering it to me. Lets see if the universe will oblige.
The Law of Attraction. That is the big secret. You want something, you visualize it and internalize that feeling as if you already have it by envisioning yourself with what you want. Then the universe will bring it to you. There is no time limit on this, it could happen in 30days or in 90. But everyday you must continue to visualize and feel it until it comes to you. You're faith can not waiver, you can not have negative thoughts, not even on one day as it will jeopardize if it will be delivered to you.
My interpretation is that it is a bit of meditation and religion mixed together.
The guy who wrote the Chicken Soup for the Soul books apparently lives by this mantra. He says he visualized making $100k within a year. Then after about a month, the $100k vision came to him - he was to sell copies a book he had already written. Seriously? You're telling me that because you visualized the $100k every day, taking that good feeling into account every morning that you FINALLY realized that you should actually SELL the book you had already written. Hmmm....
I do agree that by being positive you will "attract" more positive attention thus good things will most likely happen or come to you. I am a believer in the "waking up on the wrong side of the bed" mentality. But I'm just not sure I'm buying into the entire "secret" - that the universe will bring your wildest desires and dreams right to your doorstep if you visualize it happening.
So I'm going to try it for 1 month. I'm going to start small, by "attracting" a $2500 gift from the universe...without having to work for it. I will visualize my goal and the associated feeling every morning. I will avoid all bad feelings which may deter the universe from delivering it to me. Lets see if the universe will oblige.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
The Great Debate
Ok, so I have been debating on my next move. Literally. July 4, 2009 is rapidly approaching - Christ, its practically April! 3months left to get my act together. And its not like I've been slacking, I've been coming up with ideas and plans. I practically have my own personal catch phrase - "my new life plan is ..." then I fill in the blank. I've come up with numerous "life plans" ranging from the extravagant and impractical to the downright boring.
I spent most of 2008 looking at condos in the 'burbs and found quite a few that I really liked. But I never had that "A-ha" moment. Nothing felt quite right, nothing fit me. I took a step back to evaluate what I - me, as an individual, as a single professional - wanted in my life. I want adventure, freedom, and mobility which is harder to accomplish while being tied down with a mortgage. The idea of buying a condo got the boot - and yes, I know its a great time to buy. Thankyouverymuch.
Next I was going to London. By 2010. To work, to travel, to just get out there and live a little. The outline of the plan is this: I'll get my visa, apply for 6-12month working contract in my field, find a flat, call a friend, and cross that pond. Totally practical, right? Yea, especially since I've never even crossed the Atlantic before. I did start collecting the necessary documents to apply for the work visa but then...
The FBI is going on a major hiring spree. The answer to my prayers! My ultimate goal in life has been to work as a special agent within the government. Heck, my degree is in criminal justice! I am a card carrying member of the FOID (firearms owner identification) card. I watch Cops, read novels written by former FBI/CIA agents, and debate on taking the L-SAT on a weekly basis for this specific purpose! I applied...for 5 positions. Now the wait is on, applications are open through November then its at least 1-2 years of screening IF I even make it past the application process. Which makes it ideal to remain in the country. Bye-bye London, I'm sorry we never met.
Now I'm Chicago-bound. I always pictured myself in The City - working, living, dating, loving, you name it I want it. My friend S constantly says that I have a major crush on Chicago. And I do.
I have applied for several positions and I actually got an interview. This past Monday, I actually got an offer! I know, even in this economy. Now the debate is - do I take the plunge, knowing I'd be settling for a minor salary increase and slightly worse benefits? Not only that but I find myself doubting the change and questioning everything: If I move out there who will visit me? Can I make it on my own? Will I regret this?
And here I sit, a week later, still struggling with this decision. Why am I so scared?
I spent most of 2008 looking at condos in the 'burbs and found quite a few that I really liked. But I never had that "A-ha" moment. Nothing felt quite right, nothing fit me. I took a step back to evaluate what I - me, as an individual, as a single professional - wanted in my life. I want adventure, freedom, and mobility which is harder to accomplish while being tied down with a mortgage. The idea of buying a condo got the boot - and yes, I know its a great time to buy. Thankyouverymuch.
Next I was going to London. By 2010. To work, to travel, to just get out there and live a little. The outline of the plan is this: I'll get my visa, apply for 6-12month working contract in my field, find a flat, call a friend, and cross that pond. Totally practical, right? Yea, especially since I've never even crossed the Atlantic before. I did start collecting the necessary documents to apply for the work visa but then...
The FBI is going on a major hiring spree. The answer to my prayers! My ultimate goal in life has been to work as a special agent within the government. Heck, my degree is in criminal justice! I am a card carrying member of the FOID (firearms owner identification) card. I watch Cops, read novels written by former FBI/CIA agents, and debate on taking the L-SAT on a weekly basis for this specific purpose! I applied...for 5 positions. Now the wait is on, applications are open through November then its at least 1-2 years of screening IF I even make it past the application process. Which makes it ideal to remain in the country. Bye-bye London, I'm sorry we never met.
Now I'm Chicago-bound. I always pictured myself in The City - working, living, dating, loving, you name it I want it. My friend S constantly says that I have a major crush on Chicago. And I do.
I have applied for several positions and I actually got an interview. This past Monday, I actually got an offer! I know, even in this economy. Now the debate is - do I take the plunge, knowing I'd be settling for a minor salary increase and slightly worse benefits? Not only that but I find myself doubting the change and questioning everything: If I move out there who will visit me? Can I make it on my own? Will I regret this?
And here I sit, a week later, still struggling with this decision. Why am I so scared?
Friday, March 20, 2009
Hello
Alright, I caved. I finally have been convinced that I need to blog. It took me 3 years to even sign up for Facebook! Now I'm on twitter and finally an official blog. Unfortunately I'm not a writer and I'll just be blogging in replace of keeping a diary. A diary at 25 is not accepteable, yet blogging is....
Here is a little about me: I'm 25, fastly approaching 26, living in the western 'burbs of chicago...with my parents. I'm a bomarang kid - went to a state college then came right back after graduation, and stayed. I am however getting evicted, July 4, 2009. Independence Day. No joke. The meaning is not lost on me, and my "landlords" chose that date for that specific purpose. I don't hate, I definitely understand. Do you think I'm proud of the fact I still live with my parents? Yea...no.
I have an excuse - at least I use it as one. In college I met this great guy and we dated for 6 years. Just broke it off last August. Its one of those things - its hard to move forward when you're stuck in the present. We knew we weren't on the marriage path, we debated moving in together and buying a place, but in the end it was decided a "break" was needed...unfortunatley this was decided after $1500 trip with his brother and sister-in-law to Costa Rica. Best trip ever by the way, I'd recommend visiting.
What is a "break"? Its a relationshiper's term for being too scared to call it off officially. You want that person in the wings just in case your other flings don't pay off. Right? Its a pussy excuse and anyone thats been in a SIX year relationship might feel slighted by it. What can I say, I still hold a grudge even though it was/is the best thing for the both of us.
Now I'm spiraling down a quater century crisis. B.S. you ask - definitly not. I'm trying to figure out who I am again - six years of having a back up and a second opinion really makes one check themself. I'm officially getting into my groove again but still making the rookie mistakes that should have been sorted out at 21.
This blog will document my crazy antics as a newly single lady in the shadows of a great metropolis. I feel like I'm walking through everything with a blind fold on and I stumble - a lot. Its entertaining to everyone - even my married friends (4 out of 7 - I'm the official bridesmaid, 27 dresses here I come) love it. Why shouldn't you?
Here is a little about me: I'm 25, fastly approaching 26, living in the western 'burbs of chicago...with my parents. I'm a bomarang kid - went to a state college then came right back after graduation, and stayed. I am however getting evicted, July 4, 2009. Independence Day. No joke. The meaning is not lost on me, and my "landlords" chose that date for that specific purpose. I don't hate, I definitely understand. Do you think I'm proud of the fact I still live with my parents? Yea...no.
I have an excuse - at least I use it as one. In college I met this great guy and we dated for 6 years. Just broke it off last August. Its one of those things - its hard to move forward when you're stuck in the present. We knew we weren't on the marriage path, we debated moving in together and buying a place, but in the end it was decided a "break" was needed...unfortunatley this was decided after $1500 trip with his brother and sister-in-law to Costa Rica. Best trip ever by the way, I'd recommend visiting.
What is a "break"? Its a relationshiper's term for being too scared to call it off officially. You want that person in the wings just in case your other flings don't pay off. Right? Its a pussy excuse and anyone thats been in a SIX year relationship might feel slighted by it. What can I say, I still hold a grudge even though it was/is the best thing for the both of us.
Now I'm spiraling down a quater century crisis. B.S. you ask - definitly not. I'm trying to figure out who I am again - six years of having a back up and a second opinion really makes one check themself. I'm officially getting into my groove again but still making the rookie mistakes that should have been sorted out at 21.
This blog will document my crazy antics as a newly single lady in the shadows of a great metropolis. I feel like I'm walking through everything with a blind fold on and I stumble - a lot. Its entertaining to everyone - even my married friends (4 out of 7 - I'm the official bridesmaid, 27 dresses here I come) love it. Why shouldn't you?
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