hollywood got it right and i'm totally lame

Movies. We've all seen them. We flock to the theaters or video store or just flip on HBO to watch. There are a ton of genres too. Romance. Drama. Horror. And Thriller.

The "thriller" plot is generally the same. Enter picturesque scene, see normal life of handsome John Doe, then switch to see the normal life of the beautiful Jane somethingorother. Then...
wait for it...

BAM!

Some type of event or trauma happens to stir things up. Then somehow John and Jane meet working through indestructible odds to correct said crisis, and...OMG, can you believe it?!? They end up falling in love or sexing (or both?) at the end. It has the key components: excitement & sex. You gotta love that. Speed is the good example...and by all means, not the only one.

My mind keeps traveling back to this: trauma brings people together who seemingly would under any type of normal circumstance probably loathe the other or just simply, not give a second look. Perhaps its after being a "survivor" of what they endured, natural selection kicks in and you want to procreate with that other survivor. Well, procreate or just have hot steamy protected sex with them. Either or. I'll take the later.

Since 2weeks ago Thursday when I walked into my apartment to find it broken into / burglarized, I have had this intense urge to have some male companionship. Really, companionship. Not just the sex but everything else that goes along with it. Yes, I have my family & friends that have been sending their love and support through this ordeal* but I've been yearning for that different kind of love. The strong protector type support that can just make you feel comforted, forget, take the edge off.

Last week I was getting all desperate. And I might have been a little drunk one or two nights when I fumbled with the idea of calling my ex to tell him just to get his reaction. That would quickly switch to wanting C - the guy who I haven't heard from (nor called myself) in over a month - to be with me. I was in an "i-need-a-boy-because-i-experienced-something-traumatic" moment - well, moments because these thoughts occurred a lot more than once.

I have to say the only thing getting me through it - without any embarrassing drunk dials or pity dates/sex - was my internal countdown for #2's return from his trip. And he returned on Saturday. And I actually heard from him yesterday.

Texting during the day, then a short conversation last night. I am extremely overjoyed that he is home. More excited that we'll be hanging out this week sometime - tbd - especially since I thought I wouldn't hear from him for another week or so. I just can't wait to see him, hug him, kiss him, to tell him my sad story and be comforted by him.

LAME.

And TOTALLY not how our relationship is. Maybe these Hollywood endings are attacking my subconscious because #2 & I just have fun. Fun drinking. Fun sex. Fun. I actually don't even think we've ever hugged. He's just the one night stand that has lasted.

I am over romanticizing everything right now but at least I know it. And I'll keep the daydreams to myself. Let the proverbial bubble pop when we meet up later this week. But for now, I'll keep those imaginary hugs going...


* I really couldn't have gotten through the past 2weeks without them

Weigh-In Tuesday - Week 3

9/29/09, Week 3, 149.0lbs

HOLY SHIT

Holy Shit - like this guys back "holy shit".

Unbelievable but staring you right back in the eye proving its for real

This is what I'm talking about. That number - or the combinations of numbers - is ATROCIOUS. THIS is the number that scared me all those weeks back. THIS number is again ruining my life.

Well, I did pretty great last week with physical exercise - 6/7 days. You can't beat that. And it wasn't pussy-footing exercise, it was hard cardio where I pushed myself every day. And now my foot hurts. AND per my google diagnosis means I have a stress fracture. Or not.

The problem: food intake. Its a fricken orgy of food when I return to my parent's house (where I was all weekend long, starting on Thursday night with a plate of NACHOS for dinner. Nachos people). I'm talking cookies, cupcakes, pizza rolls, candy bars, ice cream... You get the idea. Basically I have no self control and spent the weekend blissfully eating my way through it. I have now deemed returning to my parent's as the Vortex of Evil. Meaning - I eat the crap out of that house.

Plus I had a friend date this weekend which ended with an ice cream sundae that includes FIVE scoops of ice cream. We did not share. We each got our own. And I killed it. Thankyouverymuch.

I make poor choices. I get caught up in the moment. And if I'm bored I may go snooping in the kitchen at my parents' house. I totally threw out the idea of keeping the food journal up to date. It was too much food to even write down! Ugh. I have yet to start up the journals again too.

So its not too late to jump back on the diet wagon, right? Hope not because I'm starting over (again) today. I'll just chalk everything up to the burglary. Then I look ahead at my schedule and I have plans every weekend that includes massive amount of food and drinks until November. And that's only for a week break before things get busy again (holidays, BEARS GAMES, etc). I have to learn how to make things work for me. How to not get caught up in the menus so I can make proper choices.

Here's to a better week...

OH I totally forgot - I did take my measurements today too. But I forgot them at home. I'll report that next week. Perhaps there will be a change in them from this week to next Tuesday. That is encouraging...

GUR

No, I'm not growling at you. I'm just SUPER pumped for joining in on the Great Urban Race this year!

Every month, or quarterly - or gosh knows when - I get the alumni magazine from my alma-mater Illinois State University. And it was only recently that an article actually grabbed my attention enough to make me do something about it. The GUR seems right up my alley - physical/mental challenges in a fun environment. Yes please. This is something that I could actually do and have fun with. I mean, anything that mentions matching costumes, I'm in. No questions asked. Plus it was a bonus that ISU/Normal, IL would be hosting it in October the same weekend as homecoming. Coincidence? I think not. It probably helps that the creator was an ISU alum...

SO I mass emailed all of my friends - who all (or most) attended ISU as well. But I only got 1 bite. HLo. Reliable. Dependable. HLo. We are on a mission to make our team shirts and it has turned out to be more difficult than expected. Who knew that t-shirt making stores were closed on Sundays. Its not 1915 anymore folks. Open those doors. Embrace the 21st (or is it 22nd?) Century. The idea to create our own crossed our minds as well - but those shirts never last. 2 washes MAYBE. Team Super Party Mode will try again tomorrow night to make our outfits. We're shooting for a 80's Video Game-acid washed jeans-Madonna-leg warmers-throwback type of look.

Think Punky Brewster goes neon.

Weigh-In Tuesday - Week 2

9/22/09, Week 2, 145.0lbs

I started off really strong this past week. I decided to keep a food and exercise journal. I'm not counting calories - simply because I don't have the patience - I just want to know what I am eating. I have noticed that the journal does help me think about what I am eating. Or it did, until Thursday night.

After work on Thursday I had a great work out, then met L at my apartment, showered & headed out to a friend's for some dine-in Chinese and Project Runway. We got back to the apartment at 10:30 to find that it was broken into, and my beautiful 40" LCD HDTV was gone, along with my laptop, Wii and all of my jewelry. They entered through my bedroom window where the window AC unit was...its now smashed sitting on the back enclosed porch.

It was shocking and scary and I am very glad that L was with me that night. And that we weren't home. And that we didn't walk in on "them". Needless to say Thursday was a long night. As was Friday and Saturday. And Sunday.

I spent the weekend closing accounts and opening new ones, making claims, crying and eating. Comfort food, right? Well who knows what I ended up putting in my mouth - the entire weekend is a blur. I never laced up my sneakers for a run or the gym either. I was content just hanging out at my parents' house, being pampered with food.

Yesterday, minus the 2 chocolate chip cookies I had, was my day of jumping back on the wagon. I ate healthier. I forced myself to the gym. I want to feel as good as I was this time last week. I also started up the journal again. I think it will help. And I should be back on track soon. Plus a 1# gain is much better than what I expected...

Anywho, this week should be pretty active. I ran yesterday, today is a weight class, tomorrow is that crazy cardio kickboxing class I'm in lurve with. I'll be going back to the parent's house this weekend too, but I already checked the gym's class schedule and picked out several classes to take on Friday and Saturday. Sunday I'm registered to run a 5k - my first in YEARS. I used to not get enough of these runs, and although I'm coming in to the season very late (since its almost over) it is a goal to not let the 5k's escape me in the future.

In addition to the weigh-ins, I'm toying with the idea of taking my measurements too. I just don't want to get too crazed about the numbers on the scale. We'll see if I take the opporutnity to to that today.

Forcible Entry

"I was going to make a cocktail, but I thought that would be in bad form," I said to him, then turned back to making my list of things to do.

"You should have. Its been a long night. It should be the first thing on your list," he said with a hint of a smile in his eyes.

The detective turned back to my entertainment center, dusting for the fingerprints that he would never find. I looked up, sighed heavily, and thought just another victim, and wrote that on my list.

Weigh-In Tuesday - Week 1

So this is going to be my new segment - forgive me for lack of better term. In an effort to not get any fatter I am going to do weekly weigh-ins for 1 month starting today. And I will give an update on what I'm doing or planning on doing, or did not do to help myself along. I'm hoping that it will make me feel more accountable for what I put in my mouth, versus keeping it all a dirty little secrety to myself. No lying allowed.

Ok here goes:

9/15/09, Week 1, 144lbs.

After the first rounds of weddings I was ampted to start back up on the healthy lifestyle. Plus gaining the 10lbs since May really pissed me off. So I actually kicked off this little game on Friday 9/11. I went grocery shopping for fresh produce and PLANNED MEALS IN ADVANCE. And little to no carbs for 2weeks at least.

After a $140 bill - yea I'm just one person - I brought my goodies home and set aside time to cook meals in advance. Essentially, to make my own frozen dinner options. My thinking is this: I won't use hunger as an excuse to skip the gym in the evenings. I will have my food ready, I just have to take it out of the freezer in the morning & let it defrost in the fridge then heat it up. It will cut cooking time down by like 75% and I can still get out the door by 6:30 for the gym.

On Friday I made: ground turkey breast meatballs, stuffed peppers with some of the said turkey mix, 3 chicken breasts, and roasted veggies. Individually packed it all & stuck it in the freezer.

On Monday I decided to have chicken & veggies for a stir fry before going to a class at the gym at 7pm. On Monday I got annoyed with the traffic, which makes me think I'm hungry, and ate a snack of cereal, string cheese, and a can of soda. Then after 15min ate the stir fry and watched tv. Never once getting off the couch until bed time. I can't even stick to the plan for the first day.

BUT today is a new day. I have set aside salmon & will make brocolli. Then I have a class at the gym at 6:30pm where my gym buddy A will be meeting me. Having someone else that is expecting me there will be a big help of getting off the couch and getting moving.

Fingers Crossed....

The One Where I'm Exhausted & That Proves "The Sandlot" Rules

Non-stop action. x 7day vacation in the 'burbs. + 1 holiday. + 1 wedding. +1 concert. I. Am. Beat.

Wedding season is in full swing. Last Thursday was Rose's wedding rehearsal / dinner. And it was pretty good way to start off my holiday weekend. It was a beautiful introduction to where they would later get married; the grounds were simply gorgeous. Rose is now married to a great guy whom we've all known FOR-EV-ER (said in The Sandlot voice courtesy of "Squints" of course).

Actually our entire group of friends has remained pretty consistent since high school. We've added and deleted a few people but the majority of us are still close. So as you can imagine it was the coming together of everyone once again. Which of course leads to excessive drinking. Well, in my case at least. After we were all practiced up, it was off to an Italian restaurant for endless cups of wine. Literally. And seriously. The waitress would continually walk around re-filling regardless if you had a full, half or empty glass. Actually, I highly doubt there were any empty glasses on the table. Ever. Blah blah blah. I got my first piece of real diamond jewelry ever. Blah blah blah. I drove to the parents' and almost peed my pants trying to get in the house. Its like Fort Knox in there.

I was not hungover and actually made it to the gym on Friday then ran my pre-wedding errands before heading out to get my sushi on with a couple of the girls. Caught up with Rad who flew in from FL for Rose's pending nuptials. Dinner turned into drinks turned into stuffing my face with one of those 1/2 cooked cookie skillets. Right. I didn't have to fit in a dress the next day....

I was ambitious, kinda. I woke up extra early to get in a quick workout. But I only lasted about 20min then called it quits. Exercise tapes in a hot muggy basement at 6am are not fun. Do not attempt at home. It was Saturday, the day of the wedding. An early start time for hair & make up. Then pictures at the hotel before the ceremony. It couldn't have been a more beautiful day - sunny but not blazing hot. And Rose looked extraordinaire. After the ceremony it was off to bustle Rose's dress. Now, Rose emailed us a wedding day itinerary, see below:

Hair & Makeup: 8:15am – 12:30pm
Drive to Hyatt: 12:30 – 1:15
Check in: 1:15 – 1:45

Get dressed and ready for pictures: 1:45 – 2:45
Pictures: 3:00 – 4:30
Touch up: 4:30 – 4:45
Ceremony: 5:00 – 5:30ish
Do Bustle: 5:30ish – 5:45 (u all probably think I am kidding,
but there are like 100 strings that need to be tied…you can blame my mom for
telling me to keep that stupid train!)
Cocktail hour: 6:00 – 7:00

Dinner and all that jazz: 7:00 – 9:00
Dance/Drink: 9:00 – 1am
After Party

DO BUSTLE: 5:30 - 5:45 pm. Its there. Listed. Yet none of us knew what we were getting ourselves into. She was not joking. There had to be over 100 strings & loops that needed to be tied. And it took just about 20minutes. With 8 of us working on it. Including Rose's mom. But in the end it looked great. Or we just told her that* to get things moving...

Cocktail hour. My favorite. And the food was scrumptious. The vodka was flowing. As a lucky participant & guest to this wedding, I was able to be treated to all top shelf liquor. It was decided days before that we would "toast" after dinner with shots of Patron. Which I found out did actually occur. There was photographic evidence. And I was definitely there partaking. Oops.

Beginning of Cocktail hour / Pre-Patron

Basically, what I have learned is that I can only have beer for S's wedding in October. Otherwise I might get escorted out. And I'm sure S will not be as forgiving as Rose** (and Big Dog***) to my crazy drunk antics / memory loss.

I did wake up in my hotel room bed, cuddling against Prass. Prass is just another friend, whose a girl. There were 4 of us jammed in a room. Apparently I like to spoon. Sorry Prass. Breakfast at the hotel at 10a, where I piled on my plate enough bacon that I actually got meat sweats later. At the time it seemed like a good idea. Then I managed to make it back to the parents' where I crashed for 6hrs then forced myself into the shower and to L's for a post-nuptial bbq. I brought potato salad.****

A glass of wine got me over the hump but it was back to water (lame, I know) while I ate everyone out of house & home. 2 hot dogs please. Oh, you have chips & taco dip. What's that smores?

Now for another Sandlot moment:

Ham Porter: Hey, Smalls, you wanna s'more?

Smalls: Some more of what?

Ham Porter: No, do you wanna s'more?

Smalls: I haven't had anything yet, so how can I have some more of nothing?

Ham Porter: You're killing me Smalls! These are s'more's stuff! Alrite now pay attention. First you take the graham, you stick the chocolate on the graham. Then you roast the 'mallow. When the 'mallows flaming... you stick it on the chocolate. Then cover with the other end. Then you scarf. Kind of messy, but good!

Ok, where was I. So Monday my dad & I had box seats for the Sox v. Red Sox game. Unlimited beer & food. Plus we won 5-1. Then later back in the 'burbs, my mom & aunt were on the hunt for Red October. Not really. But we were on the hunt for sushi. We drove around the damn suburbs for like 2 hours to find any sushi place that would be open. It was nuts. And I was getting crabby/tired/hangry*****/whateveryouwanttocallit.

Tuesday was work. Busy. Then I was finally able to head back to my glorious apartment. Oh and get ready for my sex date with #2 that we set up last week. It was super chill. Comfy clothes. Wine. Pizza. Sex. Plus we had a chance to catch up and say our goodbyes before he heads out to Europe for a 2 week vacation. That asshole - I mean - I hope he has fun.

And last night. Last night was the BritBrit concert. My sister was able to score me & my friends some free tickets. Free AWESOME SEAT TICKETS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE STAGE LIKE 7 ROWS BACK AND OMG THERE WAS SOMEONE WITHOUT ANY LEGS ON A TRAMPOLINE. WITHOUT ANY LEGS. ON A TRAMPOLINE. And I signed a confidentiality agreement in order to get my Guest Pass. So I can not confirm what or whom I did or did not see.

So tonight. Tonight is the glorious night of having absolutely no plans. Nothing. Zip. Nada. I even decided to boycott the gym. I will be able to go home. Rest. Relax. Read. Eat. And sleep in my own god damn bed. Finally. No work tomorrow. So I booked it as my "its time to get my act together day", which includes, but is not limited to: laundry, gym/biking, sunning (if possible), grocery shopping (its time to detox - food & drink wise. No fun, I know), and cleaning.

IT'S BRITNEY BITCH.

Enjoy your weekend.



*Rose, I'm kidding. It seriously did look fantastic & having the train with the dress was definitely worth it.

**Um, I apparently tackled Rose at the bar during the reception. Both of us falling towards the ground. According to Hanes, I did have good form. Just like Urlacher. My dad would be so proud.

1) I think that is how we landed, but perhaps without the bitch slap motion at the end.
2) Urlacher is kicking Michael Vick's ass in this picture which makes me happy - damn dog hater
3) Bears kick off on Sunday against the Packs - Hell yes, it's football season!

***Right, well let's just say that I was the life of the party. And the wedding video proves it.

****That I instructed (or asked) my mom to make on Saturday. Because potato salad just tastes better when its made the day before.


*****Hangry: To be so hungry that you get angry. Hence, "Hangry"

The Candy Man Can

Ah, the glorious melody from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory plays in my head. I love candy. I have developed a sweet tooth. And as explained in my previous post, I am trying to curb that devil tooth into craving broccoli versus anything covered in chocolate or in cookie form.

This week I have actually been good. I have been eating healthier (minus the handful of Swedish Fish) and had an amazing workout* at the gym last night. So today in celebration I decided I would treat myself to a single serving size of peanut M&Ms from the vending machine. I mean, I deserve it, right? I probably burned 700+ calories last night and I have been working my tail off this week - coming in early & taking time off my lunches.

The moment of anticipation mounted as I waited until after 10am to get my special treat. I pulled a crisp dollar bill from my wallet, hopped in the elevator and made my way to the vending machine. Only to find out that the price of my beloved was now 95cents - GASP! My reaction was mixed - was this His way of telling me to skip the treat? How could the vending machine people have the audacity to raise the cost - its like amusement type prices up in this bitch! But after all of my griping, my practical side did succumb to the devil tooth. I did have an entire dollar so I could afford it.

That didn't stop me from bitching about it to my co-workers. I told anyone that would listen. And when I finally got to Dani her response floored me:

"Yea, its due to the candy tax"

"Ex-squeeze me?!? First the smokers & now the fat people." I remarked in disbelief.

She - someone that actually pays attention to State affairs - knew about this bill that Governor Pat Quinn signed enacting a tax on candy effective September 1. Although I believed her, I still looked it up. Google produced 2.1 million articles on it - granted I bet only the first couple hundred are written about Illinois but still. That is a lot of mutha-fecking articles. Here, read for one for yourself. It is the most bizarre law - candy as actual food? WTF. I'll have to check the packaging on Skittles & Swedish Fish to see if they have any flour in it to avert this new tax. Or I could just stop eating candy altogether. I'll plan on the later but I doubt that will last.

Also you'll find that not only is the tax on candy, its on something much more important. Beer. Again, alcohol gets the brunt of the state-wide financial crisis. In addition to beer & candy: hair products. Totally random.

Illinois is not the only state in the Union that is having financial difficulties. We are in red. WAY in the red. There is no money for the public schools, transportation or service. No. Money. Period. Yet, the Mayor is more than content to get the Olympics in Chicago. Although this is a totally different topic of conversation/debate, I will put my two-cents in. Feel free to disagree, but I find it horrifying that in the midst of our financial crisis we are trying to obtain an extremely costly world event. An event, that unlike other countries up for the bid, the citizens will have to pay versus the government backing the costs. This cost will fall onto the shoulders of the native Chicagoans to pay through taxes. Ok, I've said my peace.

Anywho, what the Mayor should be doing is building a casino on the lake - tax the hell out of that, leave my beer & candy alone.


*I took a new class at the gym: Cardio Kickboxing. It was unlike any kickboxing class I had been in before. I can not wait to wear my heart rate monitor to see how many calories I actually burn!