The One Where I'm Exhausted & That Proves "The Sandlot" Rules

Non-stop action. x 7day vacation in the 'burbs. + 1 holiday. + 1 wedding. +1 concert. I. Am. Beat.

Wedding season is in full swing. Last Thursday was Rose's wedding rehearsal / dinner. And it was pretty good way to start off my holiday weekend. It was a beautiful introduction to where they would later get married; the grounds were simply gorgeous. Rose is now married to a great guy whom we've all known FOR-EV-ER (said in The Sandlot voice courtesy of "Squints" of course).

Actually our entire group of friends has remained pretty consistent since high school. We've added and deleted a few people but the majority of us are still close. So as you can imagine it was the coming together of everyone once again. Which of course leads to excessive drinking. Well, in my case at least. After we were all practiced up, it was off to an Italian restaurant for endless cups of wine. Literally. And seriously. The waitress would continually walk around re-filling regardless if you had a full, half or empty glass. Actually, I highly doubt there were any empty glasses on the table. Ever. Blah blah blah. I got my first piece of real diamond jewelry ever. Blah blah blah. I drove to the parents' and almost peed my pants trying to get in the house. Its like Fort Knox in there.

I was not hungover and actually made it to the gym on Friday then ran my pre-wedding errands before heading out to get my sushi on with a couple of the girls. Caught up with Rad who flew in from FL for Rose's pending nuptials. Dinner turned into drinks turned into stuffing my face with one of those 1/2 cooked cookie skillets. Right. I didn't have to fit in a dress the next day....

I was ambitious, kinda. I woke up extra early to get in a quick workout. But I only lasted about 20min then called it quits. Exercise tapes in a hot muggy basement at 6am are not fun. Do not attempt at home. It was Saturday, the day of the wedding. An early start time for hair & make up. Then pictures at the hotel before the ceremony. It couldn't have been a more beautiful day - sunny but not blazing hot. And Rose looked extraordinaire. After the ceremony it was off to bustle Rose's dress. Now, Rose emailed us a wedding day itinerary, see below:

Hair & Makeup: 8:15am – 12:30pm
Drive to Hyatt: 12:30 – 1:15
Check in: 1:15 – 1:45

Get dressed and ready for pictures: 1:45 – 2:45
Pictures: 3:00 – 4:30
Touch up: 4:30 – 4:45
Ceremony: 5:00 – 5:30ish
Do Bustle: 5:30ish – 5:45 (u all probably think I am kidding,
but there are like 100 strings that need to be tied…you can blame my mom for
telling me to keep that stupid train!)
Cocktail hour: 6:00 – 7:00

Dinner and all that jazz: 7:00 – 9:00
Dance/Drink: 9:00 – 1am
After Party

DO BUSTLE: 5:30 - 5:45 pm. Its there. Listed. Yet none of us knew what we were getting ourselves into. She was not joking. There had to be over 100 strings & loops that needed to be tied. And it took just about 20minutes. With 8 of us working on it. Including Rose's mom. But in the end it looked great. Or we just told her that* to get things moving...

Cocktail hour. My favorite. And the food was scrumptious. The vodka was flowing. As a lucky participant & guest to this wedding, I was able to be treated to all top shelf liquor. It was decided days before that we would "toast" after dinner with shots of Patron. Which I found out did actually occur. There was photographic evidence. And I was definitely there partaking. Oops.

Beginning of Cocktail hour / Pre-Patron

Basically, what I have learned is that I can only have beer for S's wedding in October. Otherwise I might get escorted out. And I'm sure S will not be as forgiving as Rose** (and Big Dog***) to my crazy drunk antics / memory loss.

I did wake up in my hotel room bed, cuddling against Prass. Prass is just another friend, whose a girl. There were 4 of us jammed in a room. Apparently I like to spoon. Sorry Prass. Breakfast at the hotel at 10a, where I piled on my plate enough bacon that I actually got meat sweats later. At the time it seemed like a good idea. Then I managed to make it back to the parents' where I crashed for 6hrs then forced myself into the shower and to L's for a post-nuptial bbq. I brought potato salad.****

A glass of wine got me over the hump but it was back to water (lame, I know) while I ate everyone out of house & home. 2 hot dogs please. Oh, you have chips & taco dip. What's that smores?

Now for another Sandlot moment:

Ham Porter: Hey, Smalls, you wanna s'more?

Smalls: Some more of what?

Ham Porter: No, do you wanna s'more?

Smalls: I haven't had anything yet, so how can I have some more of nothing?

Ham Porter: You're killing me Smalls! These are s'more's stuff! Alrite now pay attention. First you take the graham, you stick the chocolate on the graham. Then you roast the 'mallow. When the 'mallows flaming... you stick it on the chocolate. Then cover with the other end. Then you scarf. Kind of messy, but good!

Ok, where was I. So Monday my dad & I had box seats for the Sox v. Red Sox game. Unlimited beer & food. Plus we won 5-1. Then later back in the 'burbs, my mom & aunt were on the hunt for Red October. Not really. But we were on the hunt for sushi. We drove around the damn suburbs for like 2 hours to find any sushi place that would be open. It was nuts. And I was getting crabby/tired/hangry*****/whateveryouwanttocallit.

Tuesday was work. Busy. Then I was finally able to head back to my glorious apartment. Oh and get ready for my sex date with #2 that we set up last week. It was super chill. Comfy clothes. Wine. Pizza. Sex. Plus we had a chance to catch up and say our goodbyes before he heads out to Europe for a 2 week vacation. That asshole - I mean - I hope he has fun.

And last night. Last night was the BritBrit concert. My sister was able to score me & my friends some free tickets. Free AWESOME SEAT TICKETS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE STAGE LIKE 7 ROWS BACK AND OMG THERE WAS SOMEONE WITHOUT ANY LEGS ON A TRAMPOLINE. WITHOUT ANY LEGS. ON A TRAMPOLINE. And I signed a confidentiality agreement in order to get my Guest Pass. So I can not confirm what or whom I did or did not see.

So tonight. Tonight is the glorious night of having absolutely no plans. Nothing. Zip. Nada. I even decided to boycott the gym. I will be able to go home. Rest. Relax. Read. Eat. And sleep in my own god damn bed. Finally. No work tomorrow. So I booked it as my "its time to get my act together day", which includes, but is not limited to: laundry, gym/biking, sunning (if possible), grocery shopping (its time to detox - food & drink wise. No fun, I know), and cleaning.

IT'S BRITNEY BITCH.

Enjoy your weekend.



*Rose, I'm kidding. It seriously did look fantastic & having the train with the dress was definitely worth it.

**Um, I apparently tackled Rose at the bar during the reception. Both of us falling towards the ground. According to Hanes, I did have good form. Just like Urlacher. My dad would be so proud.

1) I think that is how we landed, but perhaps without the bitch slap motion at the end.
2) Urlacher is kicking Michael Vick's ass in this picture which makes me happy - damn dog hater
3) Bears kick off on Sunday against the Packs - Hell yes, it's football season!

***Right, well let's just say that I was the life of the party. And the wedding video proves it.

****That I instructed (or asked) my mom to make on Saturday. Because potato salad just tastes better when its made the day before.


*****Hangry: To be so hungry that you get angry. Hence, "Hangry"